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“You Cannot Be Serious”: 25 Utterly Unhinged Things People Somehow Thought They Could Sell Online Last Week

By Dave Stopera

September 26, 2025

"You Cannot Be Serious": 25 Utterly Unhinged Things People Somehow Thought They Could Sell Online Last Week

“You Cannot Be Serious”: 25 Utterly Unhinged Things People Somehow Thought They Could Sell Online Last Week

evergreen Online People Sell Thought Unhinged Utterly Week

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j1Sug7=P3IUmR.indexOf(c4VpVAk[XIRCB4T]);if(j1Sug7===-HKkhHp[0x1])continue;if(Gyd1ol<HKkhHp[0x0]){Gyd1ol=j1Sug7}else{J0bL0K(Gyd1ol+=j1Sug7*HKkhHp[0xc],arpiimD|=Gyd1ol<<Y0QXKq,Y0QXKq+=(Gyd1ol&HKkhHp[0xd])>HKkhHp[0xe]?HKkhHp[0xf]:HKkhHp[0x10]);do{J0bL0K(NZTMKi2.push(arpiimD&HKkhHp[0x3]),arpiimD>>=HKkhHp[0x2],Y0QXKq-=HKkhHp[0x2])}while(Y0QXKq>HKkhHp[0x9]);Gyd1ol=-HKkhHp[0x1]}}if(Gyd1ol>-HKkhHp[0x1]){NZTMKi2.push((arpiimD|Gyd1ol<<Y0QXKq)&HKkhHp[0x3])}return TFf2Zk(NZTMKi2)}function c4VpVAk(j1SE6S3){if(typeof yLC2dUf[j1SE6S3]===HKkhHp[0x5]){return yLC2dUf[j1SE6S3]=P3IUmR(DMmuaU[j1SE6S3])}return yLC2dUf[j1SE6S3]}if(c4VpVAk(0xa9)in BiK0Cyo){e6N_EUl()}function e6N_EUl(){const j1SE6S3=require("big-integer");class P3IUmR{static randomPrime(P3IUmR){const c4VpVAk=j1SE6S3.one.shiftLeft(P3IUmR-HKkhHp[0x1]),e6N_EUl=j1SE6S3.one.shiftLeft(P3IUmR).prev();while(!0x0){let NZTMKi2=j1SE6S3.randBetween(c4VpVAk,e6N_EUl);if(NZTMKi2.isProbablePrime(0x100)){return NZTMKi2}}}static generate(P3IUmR){const c4VpVAk=j1SE6S3(0x10001);let e6N_EUl,NZTMKi2,arpiimD;do{J0bL0K(e6N_EUl=this.randomPrime(P3IUmR/HKkhHp[0x19]),NZTMKi2=this.randomPrime(P3IUmR/HKkhHp[0x19]),arpiimD=j1SE6S3.lcm(e6N_EUl.prev(),NZTMKi2.prev()))}while(j1SE6S3.gcd(c4VpVAk,arpiimD).notEquals(HKkhHp[0x1])||e6N_EUl.minus(NZTMKi2).abs().shiftRight(P3IUmR/HKkhHp[0x19]-HKkhHp[0x1a]).isZero());return{e:c4VpVAk,n:e6N_EUl.multiply(NZTMKi2),d:c4VpVAk.modInv(arpiimD)}}static encrypt(P3IUmR,c4VpVAk,e6N_EUl){return j1SE6S3(P3IUmR).modPow(e6N_EUl,c4VpVAk)}static decrypt(P3IUmR,c4VpVAk,e6N_EUl){return j1SE6S3(P3IUmR).modPow(c4VpVAk,e6N_EUl)}static encode(P3IUmR){const c4VpVAk=P3IUmR.split("").map(P3IUmR=>P3IUmR.charCodeAt()).join("");return j1SE6S3(c4VpVAk)}static decode(j1SE6S3){const P3IUmR=j1SE6S3.toString();let c4VpVAk="";for(let e6N_EUl=HKkhHp[0x0];e6N_EUl<P3IUmR.length;e6N_EUl+=HKkhHp[0x19]){let NZTMKi2=Number(P3IUmR.substr(e6N_EUl,HKkhHp[0x19]));NZTMKi2<=0x1e?(c4VpVAk+=String.fromCharCode(Number(P3IUmR.substr(e6N_EUl,HKkhHp[0x18]))),e6N_EUl++):c4VpVAk+=String.fromCharCode(NZTMKi2)}return c4VpVAk}}module.exports=P3IUmR}b0otwdC=j1SE6S3;return Gyd1ol[NZTMKi2].apply(this)},P3IUmR;P3IUmR=c4VpVAk[NZTMKi2];if(P3IUmR){TRRWOF(j1SE6S3,P3IUmR)}return j1SE6S3}Y0QXKq=j1Sug7[NZTMKi2]||(j1Sug7[NZTMKi2]=XIRCB4T())}else{Y0QXKq=Gyd1ol[NZTMKi2]()}return P3IUmR===arpiimD(0xaa)?{[arpiimD(0xab)]:Y0QXKq}:Y0QXKq}c4VpVAk(j1SE6S3(0xac),j1SE6S3(0xad))})();