Sometimes, life is just a big ball of WTF. I honestly thought I knew what to expect when people were asked to share the most surreal and bizarre things they’ve witnessed or experienced, but alas. Here are some of the most WTF stories people had:
1.
“It was sometime in the early 2000s, and I was at a Starbucks, sitting by the front window, enjoying my drink while reading and people-watching. After some time, my attention was suddenly drawn to a peculiar-looking figure coming down the street. As he approached, I saw that he was wearing a very unusual ’80s-style red leather outfit. He went past the window, and I was completely, utterly shocked. He was walking around wearing chaps.”
2.
“One fall sunny morning in the mid-1990s, I was riding in my brother’s truck on the freeway to Salt Lake City. We passed a sports car, and as I looked down at the driver, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The driver was a lone young man, maybe in his 30s, who was wearing a plastic penis over his nose! He had both hands on the steering wheel, and he never looked up at me. He was just casually driving down the road with a penis hanging from his face! I would’ve been horrified if it weren’t so funny. My brother and I laughed so hard.”
—Anonymous
3.
“When I was in high school, we went to a chess tournament in Virginia. We were staying at a four-story hotel. As we were getting our bags from the car, a friend nudged me, pointed to the roof, and said, ‘Look at that!’ On the roof was a man dressed in black, holding a katana, and standing perfectly still, silhouetted by the full moon. My friend and I joked that he was probably some bored employee who thought he was a ninja. Well, the man did some kind of warrior shout, performed some fancy swordplay with the katana, then ran and jumped headfirst off the roof! Now, the side of the hotel had a steep, grass-covered hill, so it wasn’t the worst place to land — but four stories? Headfirst? We were freaking out.”
4.
“I was sitting outside a changing room in a department store, waiting for my wife as she was trying on clothes. There was an old man sitting across from me, and without breaking eye contact, he lip-synced the entirety of Whitney Houston’s ‘Greatest Love of All’ while winking and smiling at me.”
5.
“I was out doing some shopping when I suddenly saw some lad dressed as a clown riding on one of those tiny little motorbikes. He was zooming around while about 10 staff members were chasing him. Meanwhile, everyone either didn’t care or didn’t seem to notice. The clown was going so fast that when he tried to turn a corner, he crashed into a shelf. I felt like I was the only one paying attention; other people were just casually stepping through the wreckage and taking the items they needed off the shelf.”
6.
“One time, four completely naked men ran past me while carrying a huge blown-up banana between them. Like, it was probably the size of a canoe. Yeah, I’m not sure what that was about.”
7.
“I was at a farmers market, and there was a man who had a stall that sold, as advertised, Jamaican jerk chicken. Well, a woman next to his stall started screaming at him and everyone nearby, ‘This guy is a fraud, and so is his chicken! He’s not Jamaican! He’s Nigerian!'”
8.
“I was getting a haircut, relaxing in the chair, and letting the barber do his thing. Suddenly, the police stormed into the barbershop and arrested my barber mid-chop! WTF?”
9.
“Many moons ago, I worked in retail. One time, a man came, put his backpack down on the window ledge, and threw up in it. Right into the bag. He then zipped his bag up, put it back on his shoulder, and walked off. I saw him do the exact same thing three different times, and so have my coworkers. It was so strange.”
10.
“When it was pre-COVID, I worked in a busy area. One afternoon, I went out for a coffee, and as I was waiting at the intersection, a man on roller skates suddenly appeared in front of a huge line of cars. He was holding up probably four lanes of traffic, then he proceeded to gracefully attempt what looked like an ice skating routine.”
11.
“This was just a really weird sequence of events. One time, I was doing a bar crawl. About seven or eight bars in, we got to this really rough-looking one. This guy came in, and I noticed he was wearing a pirate hat and had a parrot on his shoulder. As he ordered his drink, the parrot was repeatedly shouting a string of curse words. Nobody said anything, so I assumed this dude was a regular or something. Well, I bought my drink, went into the beer garden, spotted my friends at the table, and saw there was a Shetland pony standing next to them. So, yeah: A pirate, a profane parrot, and a pony.”
12.
“I saw a man fall down a couple of steps on the elevator. He stood up from the fall, gripped his umbrella, and started beating the escalator with it shouting, ‘ARSE! ARSE! ARSE!’ To this day, my partner and I still say ‘ARSE! ARSE! ARSE!’ if something goes wrong.”
13.
“My partner and I got a little fluffy Pomeranian during lockdown, and she had an uncanny ability to find bread whenever we took her out on walks. During one week in particular, she was finding a full slice of bread every time we took her out, and we’d have to yank it from her mouth and carry on. Well, on the last day of the week, she found another slice of bread as usual, so we snatched it from her and continued walking. Suddenly, not even a few seconds later, what does she have in her mouth? A TORTILLA.”
14.
“It was the middle of the summer, and I randomly heard Christmas songs being blasted outside. I looked out the window and saw what could only be described as Santa’s sleigh racing down the street with a massive stereo attached. Standing on the sleigh were four guys, beers in hand, shouting and singing along.”
15.
“In the UK, during COVID lockdown, you were only allowed to go outside to exercise for a short amount of time per day to try and curb infection rates. That is, of course, unless you had a pet that needed walking, which would allow for more time out of the house. Well, that rule led to some interesting interpretations of what was considered to be a pet. In my town, every day, there was a dude who walked a fully-grown pig, collar and all.”
16.
“I was pissing in a pub urinal when this guy walked in. He saw that the only stall in the bathroom was occupied, said, ‘I can’t hold it in,’ and dropped his pants to take a shit in the urinal right next to me. When he was done, he pulled his pants up and walked out without saying a word. I was absolutely speechless.”
17.
“I kid you not, I legit slipped on a banana peel. So, my kid and I went to my parents’ house, and my kid started eating a banana. The peel was on the table, and he was waving his arms when he saw me, which caused the banana peel to go on the floor. I definitely didn’t see it. I was walking past the table, trying to get into the kitchen, and slipped on the peel. I fell down exactly how it happens in cartoons. It was so comical, it didn’t feel real.”
18.
“I used to work as a train conductor. One Friday night, I was working one of the last trains, and there was a couple that boarded. While I was walking through the train, I noticed that the couple had locked themselves in one of the tiny bathrooms. I asked them to come out, and when they did, the girl had her hand clamped over her mouth. When I asked what was wrong, her boyfriend said that two of her false front teeth got flushed down the toilet. Mind you, the train had been in service ALL DAY, and that toilet was filthy! But she persisted in putting her fingers down the little hole to search for her teeth. The teeth were stuck, so I hit up the emergency tool cupboard and found some bungee clips, thinking they’d work. Thirty minutes later, the teeth came flying out of that filthy hole on the end of the bungee clip. What happened next, I was not prepared for. The girl simply ran the teeth under the sink tap…AND PUT THEM BACK IN HER MOUTH.”
19.
“My wife and I were leaving the Guinness Storehouse in Dublin, and then a baguette just fell from the sky and landed right in front of us. A baguette. In front of the Guinness Factory. So weird.”
20.
“In the early ’90s, I was taking the subway to a gig when I saw this disheveled-looking fella eating a tin of peaches, just tipping the can into his mouth. The train lurched, and the guy’s glass eye popped out and landed in the tin. Without a moment of hesitation, he reached into the tin, fished out the eye, wiped it on his coat, then shoved it back into his eye socket.”
21.
“I once went to the local leisure center for a nice dip in the swimming pool. A woman I’d never seen before decided to stop next to me and tell me about her boyfriend who ‘licked her shingles.’ Before I could decide if that was some kind of new euphemism, she whipped half of her swimsuit off and showed me her rash. That was such a weird moment, because what the actual hell just happened?”
22.
“When I was in Australia, I saw a pelican scoop up a chihuahua into its mouth. The leash was hanging out of its mouth while this lady, whom I assumed was the owner, tried to beat the pelican with her purse. It was VERY surreal.”
23.
“Many years ago, I used to work night shifts at a data center that was surrounded by houses and faced a medium-sized car park. It was about 4 a.m. on a Wednesday, and out of the office window, loads of car lights came rolling around the corner. It was a group of large-ish SUV-type cars, and my immediate thought was that I missed an appointment in the calendar or something. However, these four big cars pulled into the car park on the opposite side, and some lads got out and started hooking up wires between the cars. I was intrigued, so I just sat back and watched as they connected some AV kits together — speakers, amps, etc. It took a couple of minutes, and then BOOM! Music started playing and disco lights were shining everywhere. I shit you not, suddenly there was a 20-person mini rave.”
24.
“My granddad was adamant about not wanting a hearse when he died. He had his own business and loved old trucks, forklifts, and the like. So, when he did pass, he was driven to the cemetery in the back of a pickup truck. People on the street couldn’t believe it — hell, I couldn’t even believe it. One woman, who was walking, was staring so much in that she walked straight into a lamppost. We couldn’t contain our laughter in the cars.”
25.
“I was down in England for a friend’s wedding. All of the big hotels were super expensive, so I ended up booking at a B&B. At around dawn, I heard a quiet voice outside, cycling through every swear word in the dictionary. Unable to fully go back to sleep, I spent the next few hours in and out of consciousness, trying to make sense of it all. Once I got packed up and ready to leave, I noticed an apiary, and inside was a parrot. The parrot looked me dead in the eye and said, ‘You fucking bastard.’ Mystery solved!”
26.
“I love Americans, but they are some of the weirdest people in the world. My dad worked for an American company, so we used to go over to the US a lot for these ‘corporate getaways.’ One time, we were at a restaurant eating dinner, and a father and son just came and sat down with us. Just joined us at our table like we were best friends. The son was maybe six or eight. I was confused, so I said something like, ‘Can I help you?’ The dad then said, ‘Yeah, my son wanted to sit with the Europeans for dinner!’ It was so strange, but I wasn’t even mad, because the dad had balls as big as melons to just brazenly join a random family for a meal to make his son happy.”
27.
Finally: “I sat down on the train, and this guy took one look at me, whipped out a sketchpad, and started scribbling away, glancing in my direction every few seconds. Whenever I looked over at him, he angled his sketchpad away and avoided eye contact. When I looked away, he was back to his drawing. At one stop, he stood to get off the train. By then, I was just staring at him. He stepped onto the platform, turned around, and looked at me straight in the eyes with absolute seriousness. Just as the doors are about to close, without breaking eye contact, he raised the sketchpad for me to see. He drew me — stark naked, standing under a palm tree, with an absolutely massive, larger-than-life penis.”
Alright, I need to lie down now. If you’ve ever witnessed or experienced something so bizarre that you still don’t know exactly what happened, we want to know about it. Let us know in the comments, or you can anonymously submit your story using the form below!
