If the dating pool feels like a weird, slightly messy place right now, you’re not imagining it. One minute someone’s telling you they’re “emotionally available but not available-available,” and the next you’re hearing about a friend who went on a date with a man whose job title should’ve come with a hazard warning.
Here are 25 of the most unfiltered responses, and fair warning: you might end up adding a couple of these to your own “never again” list.
1.
“Life coach at 22. Bro, you can’t even coach your own life.”
2.
“Not quite a ‘job,’ but I once dated a horse girl, and always came second for her. Weekend trips were rare, and she spent many days at horse shows and always smelled like a barn.”
3.
“I’ve dated two professors, and I’d never do it again. They’re so used to people kissing their ass all day that when something isn’t going well, they want nothing to do with constructive criticism. They just don’t like being wrong.”
4.
“I had a psychologist girlfriend many years ago. The first few weeks were bliss. Then slowly, the analysis seeped in. Maybe it even started earlier, but now she felt comfortable sharing her voice. And then any slight disagreement became a massive issue, and it was always my fault. Any difference of opinion was a deep character flaw on my part. She was never wrong because she was a professional and right by default.”
5.
“I wouldn’t date a real estate agent, because I fucking despise real estate agents. This goes for both rental agents and sales agents. Both jobs seem to require someone with zero empathy and the ability to lie convincingly. If I were on a date and they told me they worked as a real estate agent, I would politely excuse myself and leave.”
6.
“Litigators. They have high rates of narcissistic personality disorder, 80-hour weeks, and a need to be worshiped by everyone.”
7.
“If you work for ICE, that’s a huge red flag.”
8.
“Police officers. There’s a forty percent domestic violence rate, and the most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship is when she tries to leave. Now imagine leaving a police officer with his buddies helping him and covering for him.”
9.
“Military… As a disclaimer, I’m a woman in the military and I work as a paralegal. I have to handle the legal cases, and yeah, it can get pretty dicey.”
10.
“Comedians. Rumor has it they’re all horrible to date. I’ve only dated one, and she was the most difficult person I’ve ever dated.”
11.
“Musicians. He wanted to be in the spotlight and have people look up to him all the time. Never again.”
12.
“Car Salesmen, 1000%. Every single one I’ve met has an overinflated ego and no problem pushing boundaries.”
13.
“Nurses are a hard no. A buddy was a CNA, and anecdotally, all the stereotypes were proven right time and time again.”
14.
“Crypto gurus. If your entire personality is ‘just trust me, bro,’ I’m out.”
15.
“College coaches, particularly football and basketball. I worked 10 years in D1 athletics, and most of them… hoes. They’re still acting like their players, looking for validation that they ‘still got it.’ You can bet they have side chicks they’re hitting up every time they’re on the road recruiting—and flying women out to games their kids or wives can’t make it to.”
16.
“Working on a ferry or cruise that requires you to spend significant time onboard. The amount of cheating I’ve seen—people sleeping with their colleagues and then going home to their partners—is insane.”
17.
“Chefs. They’ll only be available between midnight and 11 a.m. Will ask you to meet ‘after work’ at 1 a.m., will probably be fucking a host or hostess behind your back, and will then call you uptight for not being okay with it.”
18.
“Vice detectives. My cousin married one. H to the NO!!”
19.
“Tax auditor. Imagine the consequences if you cheated on her.”
20.
“Morticians. That girl made me watch Saw—the entire series. Looking back, I’d never do that again.”
21.
“Truck drivers. Literally every one I’ve met has been divorced at least once.”
22.
“Ladies, do not date construction dudes—especially roofers and drywallers. They gossip constantly, they’re around addicts all the time, and they don’t usually regulate their emotions in a healthy way. There’s potential for injury, they’re always daring each other to do dangerous stuff, and their vehicles ‘break down’ more than any group of adults I’ve ever seen.”
23.
“Mimers. The silent treatment shouldn’t be a skill.”
24.
“An insurance adjuster. They argue all the time and think they are always right.”
25.
“Politicians. They got bullied in school, and this is their way of saying ‘remember me.'”
Text has been edited for length and clarity.
