For something that’s meant to signal neutrality, ‘not political’ has started to read very differently on dating apps. In a moment when politics feels increasingly difficult to ignore — from major national policy shifts to highly visible events playing out in real time — claiming to have no opinion at all is landing less as apolitical and more as a deliberate choice.
That tension was at the center of a recent post that quickly gained traction, where a woman voiced what many appear to be thinking: What exactly are men trying to achieve by listing themselves as ‘not political’ on dating apps?
“I refuse to believe the ones who put this down are actually liberals in disguise,” u/tltr4560 wrote. “Maybe one or two of them. But the majority of them? Hell no.” Pointing to the political climate following Jan. 20, 2025, she argued that claiming to have zero opinions on any of it is, in her words, “horseshit.” “I don’t know why they think putting down ‘not political’ makes them appear ambiguous or slick,” she added.
The post resonated widely, drawing hundreds of responses from women who say the label has become less of a descriptor and more of a red flag — one they’ve learned to decode through firsthand experience. From theories about why men hide their politics to personal stories of being misled, their answers paint a picture of a dating landscape where political identity has become impossible to sidestep, no matter how hard some may try:
1.
“‘Conservative, but I know I won’t get matches if I say so.'”
5.
“It’s incredible that they learn that saying they’re a conservative in their bio will stop them from getting matches, but somehow aren’t observant enough to ask themselves why being a conservative is a problem to begin with. I have two hypotheses. First, they’re unwilling to change, so they prey on people who don’t notice. It’s similar to the idea that many scammers intentionally make spelling mistakes — because the people who don’t spot them, or don’t care, are less likely to question the scam itself. In the same way, anyone who doesn’t pick up on ‘not political’ or doesn’t question it is more likely to match with them and be easier to control. Second, they’re unwilling to change because they’re conservative and so desperate not to let go of their beliefs that they’ll continue lying to everyone — including themselves — to maintain some semblance of a normal life.”
6.
“Oh, they’ve asked themselves why being conservative is a problem. It’s just that the conclusion they arrived at is ‘women are dumb.'”
7.
“Honestly, a lot of these men believe women are meant to be pretty and cute, but not to have any substance. Fox News has repeatedly had that disgusting Jesse Watters say to his female cohosts, ‘Oh, just tell women they’re pretty and move on. They just want to be complimented.’ And then there’s the whole ‘it’s not that deep,’ when actually, yes — it is that deep.”
8.
“There was a recent r/askconservatives thread where they discussed exactly why they do it. A few big takeaways I had were: 1) It’s the only way they can get laid. 2) They understand exactly what they’re doing and actively study places like this to learn how to lie better. 3) They don’t believe they need to change — they see a strong separation between morality and politics, and think that if they can keep you around long enough, you’ll come around to believing they’re not bad people. 4) It’s the woman’s fault for ‘giving it up’ so early. Never mind the double standard.”
9.
“I’ve also heard that many conservative men don’t want to date conservative women, because those women want men to be the family’s sole provider, allowing them to be stay-at-home moms. But these men want women who earn a decent amount and still take care of them, the household, and any kids. It’s probably even okay if the woman earns more, as long as nobody else knows. It’s better for a man like this to lie about his politics than to end up with a non-working wife.”
10.
“I think there’s also a third option: They’re attracted to liberal, progressive women for reasons they may not even fully understand, and/or they want to ‘break’ a feminist to their will as an expression of their masculinity. Something along the lines of what Trevor Noah is talking about in this quote: ‘Abel wanted a traditional marriage with a traditional wife. For a long time, I wondered why he ever married a woman like my mom in the first place, as she was the opposite of that in every way.’ His mother explained that some men are attracted to independent women the way an exotic bird collector is drawn to rare birds — not to let them stay free, but to cage them.”
11.
“They don’t believe women can form thought-out political opinions on their own. They think women are just influenced by leftism (or, in their words, feminism or ‘wokeness’) and go with the flow. Once he explains his views (it’s easier once an emotional connection has formed), she will obviously understand that right-wing ideology has been correct all along. But not before she is tricked just a little bit into listening to that explanation, because it’s not like he’s a bad guy or anything.”
12.
“It usually means they have deeply problematic views on a lot of things, but don’t like being called out on it. ‘No politics’ means ‘no politics that are different from his.'”
13.
“I know people say this a lot, but it was legitimately a big part of Nazi rhetoric. In college, I read about a Jewish theoretical physicist who was totally devoted to science. She was willing to teach students actively wearing Nazi uniforms. She wanted to avoid anything ‘political’ and focus on teaching physics. You know what happened? She had students who refused to take her class because the mere fact that she was Jewish made them say the class was ‘too political’ for them. Despite her attempts to avoid politics, she was forced to flee Germany to survive. The whole idea of being ‘not political’ is both a lie — given that politics pervades everyday life — and a very anti-democratic position. Something you might notice from old TV shows in the 1950s is that they insisted it was the responsibility of every citizen in a democracy to be politically informed and aware.”
14.
“Rule of thumb: Anybody who says anything along the lines of ‘don’t make [thing] political’ actually means ‘don’t make me confront things that make me uncomfortable.'”
15.
“My ex did this. What a wild ride that became. Never failing to have that conversation in the first month again.”
16.
“‘Not political’ just reads to me as ‘I don’t care about people’s rights or anything that doesn’t directly affect me.'”
18.
“I think that there are people who are honestly privileged enough not to think about politics at all. There are definitely people who use it to mask their horrible politics, but there’s definitely a group of people who just don’t think about it. Either way, I know we are not compatible.”
19.
“Guys like that get annoyed by the idea of a partner who expects them to care or think critically about their actions — and then unironically spend half a dinner date telling a woman she should watch Andor or The Boys (no shade to those shows). Just saying that this is the new generation of dudes with a Fight Club poster in their dorm for all the wrong reasons.”
20.
“There are still women in the world who don’t see ‘not political’ as any kind of negative indicator. Those are the women these guys are looking to attract. In some cases, they actually mean it — they genuinely don’t pay attention to anything outside of their daily life and immediate needs. They don’t know who their congressional representatives are, they may not know who the current governor is, and though they may have a vague sense of who currently occupies the White House, they couldn’t name a single cabinet member or policy position. If something is not physically in front of them, they don’t see it. And if they have no idea what’s going on in federal, state, or local government, they really do think that means they have no political opinions.”
21.
“They don’t want to date a conservative woman, but they know that if they say they’re conservative, most of the women on dating apps won’t give them the time of day, so they lie. They lie, hoping they can trick you into liking them before you find out the views they hold. They lie, hoping to find a liberal woman they can break. If a man isn’t openly stating his views and backing them up with action in this day and age, don’t waste your time with them.”
22.
“Ninety percent of them are conservatives who are cowards. The remaining 10% who put down moderate or non-political are either ‘libertarians’ (usually meaning economically conservative but socially progressive) or people who picked that option because ‘liberal’ or ‘conservative’ don’t fully describe their views.”
23.
“The phrase ‘if it doesn’t fool you, you weren’t the target’ applies to so many things in life.”
24.
“I don’t even trust if they put liberal or leftist. Men lie. And even the ones who are liberal or leftist can still be horrific, abusive, misogynistic pieces of garbage. I had to suss it out of them without letting them know what I think, so they can’t just say what I want to hear.”
Have you seen “not political” on someone’s dating profile? How did you interpret it — and did it hold up in practice? Let us know in the comments below!
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