Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
19.
“I dated an underwear model in college for about four or five months. He wasn’t the most self-aware person, but damn was he pretty. We were fooling around one night, and I noticed he had a bunch of dingleberries and smears. I immediately got the ick and asked him to shower and get cleaned up. He said, ‘Oops, usually I have someone take care of that for me on photo shoots.’ After that, I just couldn’t take him seriously. This was a man who made his living by being naked, and he couldn’t bother to clean his butt crack.”
“For those who will ask: No, he did not have an odor. And I had not seen evidence of his issue on his underwear previously. This can only be explained by the fact that he had a nice round peach of an ass that would’ve locked any stink in. This was the first time I’d seen him where he didn’t have time to shower and clean up beforehand. He had been on a plane all day, then I picked him up from the airport, we went to dinner, and then we went home.”
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