1.
“He thought you absorb a gallon of water when you shower 😂 so he didn’t need to drink water.”
2.
“When he said he’d make pancakes and put the dry powder directly in the hot pan.”
3.
“We were talking about dinosaurs, and he was shocked to hear they were real. Then he proceeded to ask me if they really breathed fire. He thought dinosaurs and dragons were the same thing.”
4.
“When he missed his daily medication, he threw it out instead of just saving it for the next day.”
5.
“He was stacking cups…in the dishwasher.”
6.
“Doing a ‘fun fact about me’ icebreaker in a group, and his was ‘I’ve never read a book.'”
7.
“When I found out my ex didn’t know what order the months go in. When I asked him to learn, he got mad, and said it ‘wasn’t something he was interested in knowing.'”
8.
“An ex thought that commercials were recorded live, and the people on TV were employed to do them over and over again.”
9.
“When he told me the reason why I got sick with the flu was because I did not wear a bra under my shirt. He proceeded to explain that breasts are an incredibly delicate part of women’s bodies, and thus by leaving them exposed like that, I was risking any type of disease, same as if he wouldn’t wear pants.”
10.
“When kids egged his car and he thought the best way to get the egg off was to use steel wool.”
11.
“My ex was scared of hedgehogs and convinced himself they could jump over a six-foot fence like a cat.”
12.
“I introduced him to my stepsister. He said, ‘Weird, you guys look nothing alike.'”
13.
“My ex would only drink whole milk because with 2%, ‘what’s the other 98%?’ He thought he was a genius.”
14.
“Used the leaf blower to clean the inside of the house.”
15.
“My middle school ex told me that females only get their period when turned on, then proceeded to accuse me of sleeping with one of his brothers since I got it on vacation with them. Needless to say, his brother thought it was hilarious and added to it by telling him that the period only stopped when they were around someone unattractive. It was kind of funny.”
16.
“He thought dipsticks were a scam to get people to buy more engine oil.”
17.
“The cops regularly put a speed camera on a corner near his house. They had been doing it a couple of times a month for as long as he lived there, and he got caught by it many times. He was crying to me (literally) about how unfair the latest fine was, and he had no money to pay it. I was fed up and told him to just slow down around that corner. I could tell from the look on his face that he hadn’t even considered that.”
18.
“He could not find our country on Europe’s map. The countries were written in bold, and the capitals too.”
19.
And finally: “An ex once told me, ‘I hate arguing with you because you know all these FACTS.'”
Okay, we are pretty sure you have a story or two about a not-so-smart man you’ve dated before. Drop your stories in the anonymous comments form below, and we might just make a follow-up post!
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