Women Are Sharing The Exact Moments They Realized It Was Limerence — Not Love

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“A crush is a lack of information. Your brain will try to fill in details and create fantasies that don’t exist. You can run yourself ragged over someone’s attention or lack thereof, but ultimately, it doesn’t matter if nothing comes of it. It’s the impact that matters, not the (perceived) intention. There are many ways to show interest and make an impact. Small things add up. If someone offers me a bae-cation, I run in the opposite direction — too much, too soon. I don’t like the ‘if they wanted to, they would’ rhetoric, but gestures and impact matter. A person does not love you, feel for you, or want to be your romantic interest if those don’t come into existence. Limerence is caused by the absence of that bid for affection from your limerent object and their gestures — the impact, everything that could have been. The hunger you feel from limerence is your desire being starved instead of fed. Love feeds. Limerence is proof of being starved.”

“I think about that every time I see a couple; someone made a clear bid for affection, the other reciprocated, and now they’re holding hands or walking arm-in-arm. That’s how love begins.”

—u/Smooth_Storm_9698