1.
“As soon as the doctor gave the okay, we had sex…my sex drive went crazy after kids! And I found out I’m into another kind of sex as well lol. Got knocked up three months postpartum, and now we have a one and two-year-old, so there is another side to the spectrum. While you absolutely should give yourself time to heal, you should also communicate needs with your partner because everyone is different and requires different types of love/compatibility.”
2.
“My kid is two and a half years old and I’m just starting to feel it’s going back closer to normal.”
3.
“I have a sex addiction, and we started again six weeks postpartum. After the baby, my sex drive got higher and higher. It takes forever for me to get off, though. My husband loves this and hates this, and we have conflicting sex drives and wants. Communication is key when it comes to sex.”
4.
“I’m six months postpartum, and sex only just stopped being painful a few weeks ago. I didn’t tear that bad or anything, but I just felt like I was bruised on the inside. It’s still not as frequent by any means, but it’s hard to find time and energy between work and baby, and she only just started sleeping longer than two-hour stretches at night 😵💫. We’re just trying to be intentional about spending time together and small moments of intimacy, even when we don’t have the time/energy for full sex.”
5.
“I was more lovey/cuddly after I gave birth to my son. My husband has always been the initiator, and I was always the one who was more standoffish, but with the hormones swirling and the constant new baby snuggles, I felt very emotional and needed lots of touchy/feely moments with my husband. Sex is different, and for women, it does not always equate to intimacy. For women, cuddling can be much more intimate. Especially when she is exhausted from taking care of an infant, she may just want to feel loved with some hugs and kisses rather than worrying about sex. For me, the thought of sex just makes me feel even more exhausted most of the time. (I am two months postpartum.)”
6.
“My sex drive has been non-existent, and I think breastfeeding has a lot to do with it. It’s not just the hormones. I got big boobs young, in 6th grade. It was something I was super ashamed of for my adolescence because it got me a lot of unwanted attention. But then, sometime in my early twenties, I grew a huge confidence in them. They made me feel sexy, and are definitely my husband’s favorite physical attribute about me. But now I feed my baby with them, and they’ve taken on a whole new meaning to me. I love breastfeeding way more than I could ever imagine, and thinking about it in a sexual nature is just weird now. It’s a me thing, so not shaming anyone who doesn’t feel this way. But now, when my husband gives a little squeeze, I HATE it…”
7.
“That kid blew my vagina and butthole to shreds, so I’m not letting anyone touch me down there ’til I have surgery to fix that shit. If he wants to leave me for it — byyyyye.”
8.
“My healthcare provider’s website said sex could resume as early as four to six weeks, and in my case, I was ready at four (just slowly). We have sex two to three times a week, but our baby started sleeping decently at night around 8-10 weeks. I needed a lot of reassurance and non-sexual touching in the beginning, because my body is different now and always will be.”
9.
“The first year was really hard on my husband and me; we fought more, and sex was something I was not even remotely interested in. We were really close and passionate before our baby, and we have returned to this happy state. Honestly, it probably took two and a half years to go back to normal, but after the first year, things greatly improved. Looking after a young baby can be very consuming.”
10.
“After the birth of our son, my wife’s sex drive tanked. On top of that, sex became unbearably painful for her. It wasn’t until earlier this year that her sex drive came back. Our son turned four in February. But you know what? We never stopped talking. Ever. And we made it through. It was hard. Really hard. I’m a snugly kinda guy, not to mention a bit handsy if I’m honest, and it’s hard when your spouse doesn’t want to cuddle or touch. But that constant communication is what made it work. I knew she loved me. I knew I loved her. And I made sure I mentioned it constantly.”
11.
“Definitely not as often as my husband would like, but I am tired a lot. Baby is 17 months old now and I am just now finally feeling a bit more up for it. Not having as much desire as I would like to, but I’ve always been a bit lower in the libido department. I miss my second-trimester sex energy.”
12.
“Each couple is different. I got my IUD in at 10 weeks and hopped back on that bad boy at 12 weeks. We don’t get as much sex as either of us wants, though. I used to have sex every day while pregnant with my kid. Now it’s once a week if we’re lucky because we take shifts. Hoping that changes in the next few months, but oh well! We get it in literally and figuratively when we can!”
13.
“My son is 14 months old, and we don’t have sex. Every day is a struggle with my husband. The baby is no problem; he is a gorgeous little boy, so happy. We just bicker and argue all the time. We go to bed like that, which doesn’t really create a romantic mood. I really hope we’ll find each other again.”
14.
“Personally, things didn’t get back to normal until I weaned at 10 months.”
15.
“Mine was pretty good, actually. I mean, the actual BEING PARENTS AND TAKING CARE OF A BABY 24/7 was challenging, but isn’t it always? My secret (I think) was that we were married 15 years before she was born. Hard to recommend that as a strategy, though. I think the bottom line, and semi-replicable part, is that we already knew each other REALLY well, had gone to counseling and worked out a lot of our shit, and had realistic expectations about love and passion.”
16.
“I am four months postpartum and we haven’t even tried yet lol.”
17.
“Honestly, it took a long time for me to really enjoy sex again after having our baby. The first year sex was definitely a chore, but we made it through. I feel that as long as we continued to be intimate with each other (not necessarily sex), I started to come around. After our kid turned two, we took a weekend trip away at a hotel and had a great romp. It’s back to normal now, if not better! Right now, you might have to schedule sex so that your partner can prepare herself mentally. If you just try randomly initiating, she’ll likely not be in the mood, cause sex is probably the last thing on her mind. Just be patient and know that this won’t last forever. Continue to engage intimately, and ensure she knows you’re still attracted to her.”
Do you want to share your postpartum experience in the bedroom? If so, use this anonymous comments form, and we may do a follow-up post with our BuzzFeed readers’ responses!
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