As I think back to that insecure, too-tall, too-strong girl I once was, I wish I could tell her, “You’re perfect just as you are. Your strength is your most beautiful asset. Your voice and opinion are important and valuable.” And that’s the message I’m fighting to instill in every girl today, including my daughter.
The path forward isn’t easy, but it’s clear. We need to reframe how we view and support girls’ development. It’s not about empty praise or shielding them from challenges. It’s about creating environments where they can explore, fail, learn and grow. It’s about emphasizing resilience, critical thinking and self-advocacy over outward appearance or grades.
As we work to build a more confident generation of girls, we must also create a world that values their voices, opinions and leadership. We need to show girls that being “too loud” or having “too many opinions” isn’t a flaw — it’s a strength. We need to teach them that their ideas matter, that their disagreement can lead to better solutions, and that their unique perspectives are valuable.
Our girls deserve to grow up knowing their worth, believing in their abilities, and feeling empowered to shape their own futures. It’s time we commit to fostering a generation of confident, capable young women who are ready to take on the world — not as they think it wants them to be, but as their true, authentic selves.
It’s been said “the future is female.” Let’s make sure it’s a future where every girl — the early bloomers, the late bloomers, the athletes, the artists, the quiet ones, and the loud ones — knows her power and isn’t afraid to use it. That’s the world I needed as a girl, it’s the world I’m working to create through two decades of research, and most importantly, it’s the world I’m determined to build for my daughter and every other girl today.
Together, we can turn the tide on this confidence crisis. Our girls are counting on us. Let’s not let them down.
Lisa Hinkelman, Ph.D., is a nationally recognized researcher, speaker and author who has spent nearly 20 years researching girls and educating adults — first as a professor at Ohio State University and currently as the founder and CEO of Ruling Our eXperiences (ROX), a national nonprofit organization focused on creating generations of confident girls. She is the author of the groundbreaking research report The Girls’ Index, a national study with more than 17,000 girls, and her bestselling book, “Girls Without Limits: Helping Girls Succeed in Relationships, Academics, Careers and Life,” was published by Corwin Press.
This article originally appeared on HuffPost in December 2024. We are reposting it now as one of the most-loved personal essays by BuzzFeed readers.
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