Mom and TikToker @soapboxshae is currently circulating the platform with recordings of herself parenting with and without her ADHD medication.
In her viral TikTok that has nearly 12 million views, Shae starts, “I started taking Adderall about a month ago, and I have consistently reported that I don’t feel that different, and my brain’s still firing on all cylinders. I’m still going 100 miles per minute. I don’t feel different.”
However, she then shares, “I’m going to share with you a video of me medicated and unmedicated, 24 hours apart, because up until recently, I did not know that the people around me were experiencing a different version of me. I was clueless to this, and three weeks into taking the medicine, I told my husband, ‘Ain’t no point in me taking the stimulant. If it ain’t gonna make no big difference. Like, I’m gonna just stop. No point in putting it into my body…’ He was like, ‘Hold on, you don’t recognize how pleasant you’ve been in the mornings? And I’m like, ‘No. I’m the same.’ And he’s like, ‘No, no, you’re completely different in our home in the morning.'”
“Up until that point, I did not know that. Fast forward to this past Friday. I ran out, and I’m like, cool, no problem. I mean, I knew I was running out, but I got ADHD. I just procrastinated. I said, no problem, Saturday, I will pick it up… I couldn’t pick it up. Issue with the pharmacy. I could not pick it up until Monday after work. So I’m going to show you Tuesday morning when I was still unmedicated, and Wednesday morning when I was. I want to reiterate that I did not know that it was this stark of a difference. And for a long time, I said I’ve been this way my whole life. I’ve made it. I’m successful. I don’t need any medication. And had I known that this version of me was showing up, I would have made a choice sooner, but I didn’t know,” she explained before showing the videos.
The footage is shown from an in-home recording device. On the morning without the medication, Shae walks into her son’s messy room, still in her pajamas.
She seems detached from the moment, and her capacity for patience is low.
She is going through the motions very passively.
She starts getting her son dressed, despite it being her goal for him to learn how to dress himself.
And she notices all her interactions with her son are short commands.
She is also sidetracked throughout the video, trying to clean her son’s room.
Shae then shows a very different medicated version of herself the next morning, fully dressed and alert at an earlier time.
Right away, she sees how much more engaged and talkative she is with her son.
And how she is more “in the moment” with a playful mindset.
Instead of being distracted by the mess and wanting to pick it up right then and there, she is able to focus on helping her son get ready for the day.
She also encourages him to dress himself, and he does!
Throughout the video, you see a more focused mindset that allows Shae to express positive actions in the moment.
That night, she also noticed that the medication helped her create a better routine.
One where she is more balanced and not moody — and she was able to clean her son’s room later on, too!
Overall, she realized how the medicine helped her focus, which in turn allowed her to be present in needed moments with her son.
Shae admitted that it was extremely hard to watch the videos. “To think that has been his experience with me is really hard to watch. And I do wish that my brain just worked differently, and I could just do something different, but that’s not how my brain works. And if it means that the people closest to me, the people I love most in this world, my husband, my son, my family, my friends, get a different version of me that shows up, then I’m just gonna take the medicine, and I’m not gonna fight it, because they deserve the very best.”
The video has generated so much conversation that it has compelled people, like TikToker @swedishswan, to create videos expressing how much it has impacted them. “Ma’am, I think you might have saved my life today just by making that video, because you may not have noticed a difference, but your husband and your child did, and that made me cry. To look at the difference, and you weren’t a bad mom when you were unmedicated, I don’t want people to think I’m saying that…but I struggle to take my medicine every day. Every single morning, I wake up now, and I remember to take my medicine because I want to show up, just like you did for your child, as the best version of myself,” she shared in her TikTok that has over 16 million views.
It is a testament to how meaningful Shae’s video has been:
People also say it helps paint the picture of both the importance of taking your meds for your own well-being and how it benefits the ones you love:
And others were quick to point out that the medication didn’t “change” her personality, it just allowed it to shine:
They are also loving Shae’s husband’s willingness to express his feelings when she wanted to stop her medication:
As well as her reevaluation of herself when it comes to taking it and not taking it:
Ultimately, it is evident that Shae’s video is having a profoundly positive impact on millions of people. BuzzFeed has reached out to her, and we will let you know if she has anything to add.
Lastly, we want to acknowledge that medication is not suitable for everyone, and it is always best to consult your doctor first. In the meantime, if you’ve had a similar experience to Shae’s, please share it in the comments! You can follow Shae on TikTok here!!!
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