Via text on the photo slideshow, Kate explained how she did everything in her power to fulfill his birthday wish that year.
After calling several car washes near the area she lived, Washtopia in Hermitage, Tennessee, agreed to host the birthday party.
And Washtopia went above and beyond for the party, even allowing the kids to celebrate in their break room.
The break room overlooked the entire car wash so the kids could watch.
And it allowed James to celebrate his special day exactly how he wanted.
Even though James is now 11 years old, it is apparent that he still cherishes that birthday party.
Kate ended by asking other parents of autistic kids to share the unique ways they celebrated their kids’ birthdays.
Parents immediately gave the best stories:
And it was nice to see how some businesses have stepped up for autistic kids:
A lot of parents go above and beyond:
Even autistic adults shared the special birthday moments they had as kids:
The thread is now full of all kinds of amazing stories:
And, even though the birthday was special for James and his family, it is also clear it touched the employees at Washtopia that day.
BuzzFeed spoke to Kate, who said James was diagnosed with autism shortly after he turned three. “A lot of emotions came up that day. Mostly fear and uncertainty. At the time, I didn’t know anything about autism, and while I didn’t completely buy into the tragic narrative that we all seem to be fed, it surrounded me. It was everywhere. What he might never do, how hard everything would be, how I had to fix him, do this, don’t do that, etc. It was really heavy and absolutely exhausting! As time went on, I started unlearning this tragic narrative. I listened to autistic adults. I watched James grow into exactly who he was always meant to be. My entire perception changed,” she said.
Speaking about the car wash party, Kate recalled the cake being a huge project. “He had a very specific idea of how he wanted the side wipes to look, and that took a lot of trial and error, looking up ideas, and help from my mother-in-law to get it right!”
Kate also remembered how difficult it was to find a car wash that was willing to let her have the party there. “I kept hearing the same answer: no space, we don’t do that, and this is a safety issue. When I reached out to Mike at Washtopia, it was like he had been waiting for this exact request. The day turned out to be pure magic. It was so much fun to browse stores, searching for simple decorations and things to add to the little party favor buckets,” she explained.
“It has been incredible to read all the super-specific, deeply loved interests that kids have and how the people around them have embraced those interests with joy. There are stories of appliance-themed birthday parties, light bulb parties, field trips to visit all the escalators in town, rutabaga Halloween costumes, and light switch cakes. Birthday gifts that were cheese graters from Olive Garden, traffic cones, and more. It is pure magic. The creativity and love in those comments are overwhelming in the best way,” Kate said.
Lastly, what has moved Kate the most are the thousands of autistic adults who are sharing how healing it has been to read the stories in the comments of her TikTok. “Many of them said they never felt accepted by their families and peers. Their families dismissed, misunderstood, or even mocked the things that brought them joy. Seeing these kids celebrated so openly has touched something really deep. In between the funny and heartwarming stories, there are some really important points being made in the comments. Comments about acceptance, autonomy, and what it looks like to truly support autistic people. It’s not just about cute birthday themes or quirky interests. It’s about honoring who someone is without trying to mold them into something else.”
Do you have photos of your autistic kid’s niche birthday party you want to share? We would love to see it! Add your photos in the comments below and you kiddo’s might be featured in a follow-up post!
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