These Horrifying First Date Stories Will Make You Consider A Life Of Solitude

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“I went out with a guy who was a few years younger than me. I’m usually turned off by that, but figured I would give him a shot. We met up on the beach to hang out and walk along the boardwalk, then stopped at a local restaurant for some dinner. He asked if he could pick me up later and take me out to a really popular local bar. I agreed since he seemed pretty normal. He picked me up later that night, and we got to the bar and met with his friend. He immediately ordered two drinks just for him and had his friend pay. Ten minutes later, he ordered another drink. He’s started dancing like crazy, being super loud, and really rude to a random girl. I felt so bad, I bought her and her friend JELL-O shots and pretty much hung out with them while I watched my date unravel into drunken chaos. When it was finally closing time, we walked to his friend’s apartment behind the bar where we parked…”

“He was clearly too drunk to drive, so his friend offered him water, and we went into his apartment. I had no intentions of staying anywhere with him, and was already pissed because earlier in the night, he said he wouldn’t drink. We are all sitting on the couch, and he starts taking off his clothes, straddling me like we are in a strip club. He said his friend said we could use his room to hook up. Ew… His friend definitely did not say that. Then he said he won’t go out with me again unless we have sex. I told him that after maybe 10 dates, we could possibly have sex. He was like a child trying to talk me into letting him eat a cookie before dinner, and kept telling me after two dates we should have sex. I started laughing, and he got mad and jumped off me to curl up in the fetal position on the couch and cry. His friend apologized for his behavior and asked if he could call me a cab. I called it myself, no problem, and we just watched him cry. Before I left, I had to get my jacket out of his car, so he walked with me to unlock it. It was then that he told me he had just gotten dumped by the love of his life, but she’s a slut and was already with someone else, and they live together, etc. I grabbed my jacket and jumped in the cab, laughing about it the whole way home. Worst date ever.”