21.
And finally, “I’m almost across the line — I was mentally stuck. I thought I was okay with what I had, but all I was doing was running away. I was afraid of failure and rejection. My brain was doing everything in its power to distract myself and not put in the effort so that I could avoid suffering. I always had the power to change, but I was holding myself back. I had no motivation. All the consequences and regrets had finally reached me, and what finally broke me was losing that special lady. She was giving me her love, and I pushed her away, and then it was too late.”
“I needed to reevaluate myself and remain mentally strong. Creating healthy repetitive patterns, forcing myself to do things that are necessary, enjoying hobbies, and talking to people for support are the main things I have done. Just cleaning my desk started it all for better habits.
There is still a lot of work to do, but I know I’m not sinking anymore.”
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