I don’t know about you, but I’ve definitely worked some bizarre day jobs. The title might sound normal enough to toss out at a party, but the actual job description? Unhinged. Like, “Wait…you had to lick all your boss’s envelopes because she was terrified of paper cuts and hated the glue taste?” Yeah. That happened.
Well, they say “celebrities are just like us.” So sure enough, most celebs had day jobs before they made it big — and honestly, some of them are wild. I genuinely don’t know what’s more impressive on a résumé: Oscar-winning actor or lion tamer. It’s a toss-up. Either way, if I saw that listed, I’d trust you to do my taxes. No idea why — but that kind of chaotic confidence? It screams, “I can do anything.”
So without further ado, here’s what these celebs were up to before fame — just regular folks doing what they had to do for a paycheck before that first big royalty check rolled in.
1.
Brad Pitt was a chicken mascot! Before Brad Pitt was, well, Brad Pitt, he was just another aspiring actor hustling for a paycheck. One of his early gigs? Dressing up as a giant yellow chicken to promote a fried chicken chain. He told Ellen DeGeneres he had no shame about it because, in his words, “A man’s gotta eat.”
2.
Channing Tatum was an exotic dancer! Before Channing Tatum was dancing in Step Up, he was dancing for dollar bills — as an exotic dancer. Sure, he also handed out perfume samples at Dillard’s, but the real headline? He told Howard Stern that stripping taught him a hard truth: It’s one of the very few jobs where men actually earn less than women. Equality, but make it depressing.
3.
Ozzy Osbourne was a slaughterhouse worker! Before he became the Prince of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne had some seriously grim gigs. After leaving school at 15, he worked in a slaughterhouse — and apparently found “light in the darkness.” It doesn’t sound funny to me, but he used to prank pub-goers by dropping cows’ eyeballs into their pints. Yes, actual eyeballs. Another reason to watch your drinks, I guess.
4.
Pope Francis was a nightclub bouncer! Pope Francis is living proof that people can seriously change. It’s wild to picture a pope anywhere near a nightclub — let alone working the door — but before he found the Catholic Church, he was literally a nightclub bouncer. Honestly…if he saw someone like me stumbling out at 3 a.m. — mascara running, sweat everywhere, beer down the dress — yeah, I’d probably go looking for god too.
5.
Matthew McConaughey was an armadillo hunter! Before Matthew McConaughey was starring in movies, he had a very different kind of target: armadillos. His first job was raking sand traps at a country club golf course in Texas, but his boss gave him a side mission — getting rid of the armadillos tearing up the greens. He told GQ, “That was the most fun part!”
7.
Megan Fox was a smoothie shop banana mascot! Before Megan Fox blew up in Transformers, she was out here…dressed as a giant banana. One of her early gigs was mascoting for a smoothie shop, and it involved standing by the road in full fruit cosplay. “I had to stand by the highway,” she told Ellen DeGeneres. The grind was real.
10.
Hugh Jackman was a party clown! I know…it’s hard to picture Wolverine in a red nose and juggling — unless it’s a deleted scene from The Greatest Showman. But before Hugh Jackman was terrifying kids with claws, he was entertaining them as a party clown named Coco. Yes, Coco. “Really, I was crap,” he told Howard Stern. And honestly? Thank god he hung up the rainbow wig and took his talents to the big screen.
12.
Terry Crews was a courtroom sketch artist! Terry Crews is a man of many talents. You probably knew he had a stint in the NFL, but did you know he was once a courtroom sketch artist? And not just for any case: He sketched the worst murder trial in Flint, Michigan’s history. He told Jimmy Kimmel, “If you want to make some money, you’ve got to humble yourself.” Honestly, as a true crime obsessive, forget the sketches — I’d be begging him for the details. Every. Single. One.
13.
Chris Hemsworth was a breast pump cleaner! As if Chris Hemsworth needed any help being more swoon-worthy to the ladies — turns out, before he was a star, he cleaned and repaired breast pumps. NGL, a man who can clean a breast pump is a different level of hot. He told WIRED, “I just remember being really bored.” Thor, god of Milk Maintenance.
20.
And last but not least: Dustin Hoffman was a Yellow Pages typist! Before Rain Man, Tootsie, and The Graduate, Dustin Hoffman was just another struggling actor trying to pay the bills. One of his odd jobs was being a typist for the Yellow Pages — alongside 80 women. And if you’re Gen Z or younger, the Yellow Pages were basically the prehistoric Google: a literal book where you’d look up businesses and their hours. Want to know when the nearest McDonald’s closed? You had to call. On a phone. With a cord. Wild times.
Do you have anything that compares? Drop your weirdest, most random, or downright chaotic day job in the comments — I need to know. I’ll start with mine. I lasted exactly two weeks working the overnight shift at a laundry factory during my university years. We washed endless white hotel towels and robes, then steamed and folded them…at 3 a.m. So the next time you grab a fresh towel at a hotel, maybe think of me — and reuse it just once, for the love of god herself.
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