There’s A Reason Why Having A Cry In Your Car Hits Different

After spending years on dating apps in a major city, I now have a pretty extensive personal list of the best places to cry in London. 

My favourite is a tree-covered perch above an Islington bridge on the Regent’s canal. It’s private enough that you’ll likely go unnoticed, but positioned well enough that you can enjoy a dramatic, leafy vista as you sob. 

But I only turn to this because I can’t drive. Because let’s face it: the best place to have a good cry is your car. 

Why, though? We spoke to Dr Jordan Conrad, a psychotherapist and the founder and clinical director of Lexington Park Psychotherapy, just what it is about entering your vehicle that seems can make a mini-menty B so tempting.

It’s a place to switch off and be unseen 

Speaking to HuffPost UK, Dr Conrad said that the simple logistics of privacy have a lot to do with it. 

“At work, or in the city, or with family or friends, many people feel they have to be ‘on’ – they have to be presentable or at least put together,” he said. 

“But, for many people, one’s car feels like an auxiliary home – it feels private, familiar, and containing. So after a long day or a painful argument, entering your car can feel like entering a private moment.” 

Not only is the place really personal, but you’re literally locked away from others, he continued. 

“Nobody can enter without you letting them in, and so it feels ok to cry, to scream, to be angry, to be a mess.” 

Then, there’s the fact that your car can give you a space to process a long, hard, or exhausting day. 

“The fact that after you open it and sit down, there is a moment – after you have closed the door but before you’ve started the engine – where you are alone and separated from the outside world, can give you the emotional space to actually feel whatever has just happened outside,” Dr Conrad continued.

When is crying in my car concerning?

There’s no “normal” amount to cry, and letting your emotions out can be healthy.

But the NHS says that if you’ve been feeling low most of the time for two weeks or longer, you should consider seeing your GP.

This is especially true, the health service adds, if it affects your work or relationships and if it’s getting worse. 

Help and support:

• Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
• Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI – this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
• CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
• The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
• Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.