Six Words From A Stranger Saved My Husband’s Life

I went home, and I made phone calls to that regional hospital. I discovered a team of limb salvage specialists who saved legs instead of amputating them, and I found a doctor to supervise my husband’s case. 

At 7 a.m. the next day, intimidated and fearful, I approached the authority figures I had been taught to trust — the medical professionals who towered from their self-constructed pedestals. I told them I had initiated a transfer and my husband would be leaving their facility.

All day, I endured delays, waiting for a bed, waiting for approval, waiting for coordination — waiting, waiting, waiting. 

At 10 p.m., Joel was transferred in an ambulance to the larger hospital, where he would spend the next 2 1/2 months. 

He still required surgeries, feeding tubes and dialysis. But now, he had a team of doctors dedicated to saving both limb and life, with resources beyond those in the local hospital. And he had a wife with a voice.

Would I have found my voice without that rabbi? I’m not convinced I would have. But once I initiated change, I intended to do it again.

Not all my requests were heeded. But sometimes, when I pointed out a symptom or insisted on a test, my inquiry led to a new treatment. My husband experienced medical errors in this new hospital too, but he survived. And aside from the leg brace he now wears, the blue handicapped sign on our car and the scar from his temporary colostomy, he is whole.

Compared to the dying man who laid unconscious and immobile, Joel is changed. I’m changed too. Shortly after Joel returned home, I consulted a law firm about a malpractice suit. After almost a year of meetings and investigations, they advised us to abandon the case. Wisconsin had a cap on damages, and the burden was too great to prove negligence.

Despite that disappointment, I still speak up. Now, before every doctor appointment, I compose a list of questions, complaints and possible treatments. When a doctor pooh-poohs a test, I challenge their opinion. When a nurse minimizes a symptom, I repeat my concern. When a result goes unnoticed, I call attention to it. And my advocacy goes beyond medicine. When I appeared in court on a probate issue, I wrote a script for my lawyer with points to make to the judge.