If you have kids, you’re probably well aware of the parenting “rules” everyone seems to preach. Well, Redditor Ok_Caterpillar_4871 asked, “What’s a parenting ‘rule’ you completely ignored and were glad you did?” Here are some of the commonly held parenting practices and trends people happily disregard.
1.
“‘Don’t rock baby to sleep.’ Listen, they are only babies once, and I will hold and rock him to sleep for as long as he’ll let me.”
2.
“Feeding schedules. In my experience, they tend to set their own schedules. I’ll feed them when they’re hungry, and for the most part, it turned out to be at regular intervals. They just weren’t the intervals of my choosing.”
3.
“Waiting until they show signs of readiness to toilet train. We have been soft launching the potty since she was about 14 months, and now at 19 months, we are starting the actual process of getting rid of nappies. She is a lot more willing to learn and less defiant at this age. I have seen my friends struggling with their three and four-year-olds who refuse to give up the diaper because it’s more convenient for them. Why would I stop to go to the toilet when I can just go now and still play? Yes, they should be able to do some basics like have bladder and bowel control and sit on the potty, but you don’t need to wait until they are nearly three to start.”
4.
“The idea that a baby can only sleep in a pitch-black room in a completely silent house. My son slept in a darkened room, but the bedroom door was always open, and we just lived life at regular volume in the rest of the house. He’s always been such a great sleeper.”
5.
“The concept of a strict nap schedule. We go by nap guidelines around here. We’re not missing the whole world so that baby can sleep half an hour earlier in a specific place.”
6.
“Any rule that implies I should limit contact with my newborn in order to create ‘an independent baby.’ If nature wanted independent babies, they’d be born walking.”
7.
“Wake windows. I’m not following them. We’re talking about babies. Sleep when you’re tired, little guy.”
8.
“Believing there are any hard and fast rules to parenting at all. I say this from experience; there are very few one-size-fits-all rules. There’s no ‘one’ good way to do it. Things that work for my oldest son are a disaster for my youngest and vice versa. My best advice that I always give new parents in my tribe is to roll with the punches. Don’t get too caught up in what’s conventional or what you’ve always done. Listen to your kids, work with them where they are, and respect who they are.
—colorandfury
9.
“The idea that we should never say no to children. We teach kids by modeling behavior. I do not want my daughter to internalize that ‘no’ is a bad word, or that we don’t say it to people we love, or that it’s only for emergencies, or that she needs special extenuating circumstances to give her permission to say no. I say no when I mean no, and I want my daughter to do the same.”
10.
“The belief that breast is best. It’s not a rule, but everyone (doctors, nurses, and other parents) seemed to really demonize formula feeding. You feel like you’re a bad parent if you give your baby formula. We had a lot of trouble nursing, and it wasn’t for lack of effort. We saw lactation specialists and really committed because we were made to feel like we failed as parents if we formula fed…”
11.
“I hate the popular saying and belief that food before one is just for fun. No, it’s not. They learn to eat and try new things at this critical age, and there is no switch that says to them it’s time for food, now you’re 12 months, no more milk.”
12.
“That my kid needs a smartphone. Kids younger than high school age don’t need smartphones and tablets. If you feel that your kid needs a phone for safety, get them one that only calls and texts, not one with internet access and social media. The damage these things are doing to kids is astronomical.”
13.
“Babyproofing. We didn’t baby-proof a thing. I like to think we houseproofed our baby. We practiced going up and down the stairs in a safe way. We held our hands over a hot stove. We showed him safe cabinets full of bright Tupperware and fun-sounding pans and wooden spoons, but gave a firm ‘no!’ when he went to an unsafe cabinet.”
14.
“The cry-it-out method for sleep training. When a baby literally cries out for warmth and human contact, I can’t fathom leaving her alone in a dark room. Snuggling up to mom to sleep is such a pure and simple mammalian instinct. Why do we work so hard to encourage independence?”
15.
“Baby sleeping in the parents’ room for a year. Heck no! My husband sounds like he’s sawing trees when he sleeps and has heavy feet when he’s awake. My baby can sleep through some things, but his dad will wake him up every time. So he started sleeping in his room alone in the first week. I got lots of criticism for it, but now he’s one and sleeps great in his own room.”
16.
“A fixation on tummy time. My son absolutely loathed it, and he still managed to hold his head up, crawl, and walk.”
17.
“Daily baths. Or baby hated and still hates baths. It’s a little weird because she LOVES the rain and demands to get soaked in it. She also loves swimming in the ocean. But no bath or shower. It’s been a struggle, but we’ve accepted that we have a dirty baby. 😂 We shower her like once a week and do our best to wipe her creases with wet cloths throughout the day whenever she accepts a little swipe.”
18.
“Baby-led weaning as the best way to introduce solids. This seems so unnecessary and so dangerous if done wrong. Hell, if it’s done right, it still seems scary and dangerous. Kids will learn to eat. There is no reason to rush them into eating solid whole pieces of food so early.”
19.
“Using tracking apps to log baby sleep and feeding. Sure, babies develop routines, and it’s helpful to be aware and work with these rhythms, but I’ve seen parents reverently defer to these apps instead of their instincts or even their baby. If the baby is smiley, happy, and content, but the app says they’re overdue for eating/sleeping, there’s no need to get stressed! There is no need to try forcing a baby to eat/sleep. These apps are maladaptive parenting aids that undermine parental instincts and attunement between parent and child.”
—Andrea, 41
20.
“Feeding baby to sleep. I got so much pressure to do the feed, play, sleep method. Feeding to sleep is biologically normal, and they will eventually grow out of it. Why would I do this whole song and dance with the rocking and the shushing when I could just sit down or lie down with my boob out.”
21.
“Putting kids in constant activities. No, your four-year-old should not be in activities every day of the week! I have kids with dance, piano, ninja academy, Mandarin classes, and extra math lessons. They need to go home and be able to play with the neighborhood friends, but they are not always entertained by going to activities.”
Do you have something to add? What is a parenting “rule” or popular trend you intentionally break or disregard? Tell us in the comments or in this anonymous form.
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