If you’ve ever dated someone from a different socio-economic class from the one you grew up in, it can be an eye-opening experience. Well, Redditor KoushunTakami asked, “Poor people who dated rich people, what did you learn?” Here’s what people said.
1.
“I grew up in what I can only describe as the identical median income household and had a decent job (so not poor) but I dated a woman whom I met while she was in law school whose family was very rich. The subconscious expectations were overwhelming. I would plan a little surprise, and she would expect something like a trip to Europe. She wasn’t trying to make me feel bad; her expectations were just so high from the world she grew up in.”
2.
“That apparently $100k means nothing. My ex’s dad literally offered to buy me a new Mercedes and have my old beater truck ‘disposed of.'”
3.
“I have a little money now, but once upon a time, I was a normal person doing well. One ex who was silly rich couldn’t understand why I couldn’t just take a couple of months off work two or three times a year.”
4.
“Back in the ’90s, when we were teenagers, my cousin briefly dated a rich boy whose school was near the shopping center where she and her friends would hang out after school. For her sixteenth birthday, her parents bought her a really nice watch, and when she was showing it to him, he said, “I can’t believe they didn’t get you a car.” Spent the day going on about the car he got for his 16th birthday, and how a watch was nothing. She was devastated, and they broke up a couple of weeks later.”
5.
“They simply can’t wrap their head around not having enough of everything at all times.”
6.
“They expect you to live according to their lifestyle, even though you can’t afford it.”
7.
“They are often insulated from the experience of peasant life. I was working 12-hour shifts in an industrial kitchen, trying to save up enough for my next semester of college. Her friend (whose house had a fully stocked kitchen that only ‘the staff’ ever used) heard that I was working to pay for school and therefore could not take time off to go on a vacation. She took a moment to think about my situation, looked concerned with her furrowed brow, and then finally asked, ‘Why don’t you just tell your parents? School is a good thing, of course, they’ll want to pay for that.”
8.
“No matter how humble and rational one is, dating someone several tax brackets higher will test one’s ego and self-worth.”
9.
“Generally speaking, they can’t cook well, but they somehow have the best kitchen gear.”
10.
“That being rich makes some people not really learn to have to take responsibility for their actions. The girl I used to date lost like five thousand dollar phones in a couple of years, but her parents would always just immediately buy her a new one, so I kinda felt like she never learned from it.”
11.
“I learned that every family has similar issues. Rich people can just solve them quicker.”
12.
“I learned how to play golf. Her dad always wanted to chat with me about my future, plans, business opportunities, college choices, etc, and he always wanted to discuss these over a round of golf at the country club. I really hate golf.”
13.
“They will never truly be able to even begin to comprehend your struggles, and therefore, they will constantly dismiss and minimize your problems, which will lead you to be extremely frustrated. Trying to explain to someone that you can’t afford to order takeout and need them to do their dishes right now so you can cook, while they are telling you to just order out and put it on a credit card. Most of the time, it’s not worth the relationship.”
14.
“For pretty much any type of labor you can imagine, there is a service you can hire to do it.”
15.
“You can have all the money and the world and still have bad taste. He would offer me his card to go get stuff to make his 4,800-square-foot house feel like someone actually lived there. Otherwise, it just had sparse, ugly furniture and posters scattered around.”
17.
“That good parents are better than rich parents.”
18.
“I learned that if you have issues and money, you can use that money to stop your kids from distancing themselves from you even slightly, by employing them in your business and paying them significantly more than they could ever get anywhere else, isolating them from friends and family and having a track record of ‘if you cross me even slightly, you’re dead to me.'”
19.
“There’s a huge difference in norms and what is acceptable or how things are handled. For example, a summer BBQ is a polo and slacks or fancy dress shorts event, not a t-shirt and shorts event.”
20.
“They have no idea how much anything costs, and they have no idea how much money anyone who isn’t wealthy makes.”
Do you have something to add? What is something you’ve learned from dating someone who had significantly more or less money than you did? Tell us in the comments or in this anonymous form.
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