People Who “Disappeared” Or Faked Their Own Death Are Sharing What Happened, And Oh My God

2.

“I started a new life almost a decade ago. I grew up in a family that wasn’t very close. There wasn’t really abuse, but there wasn’t really love either. I was pretty unhappy. After high school, I was so lost. I didn’t have any friends, and I sank into a depression. I had always known that I was gay, but it was then that I realized that I was trans. My parents were very judgmental, and we weren’t close at all, so I knew I could never tell them, and could never live the kind of life I knew would finally make me happy.”

“I daydreamed about faking my death and starting over all the time until I finally reached a point where I knew I had to do it. The morning of the day I did it, I walked around my house one last time, looking at everything, petting my cat that I’d had for as long as I could remember one last time, and saw my parents for the last time, and told them goodbye as I left that day. 

I don’t want to go into details about how I faked my death, but I did it in a way that there didn’t need to be a body found. All I had was an envelope full of money and a photo that I knew no one would know was missing. I travelled to the closest big city and stayed with someone I had talked to online while I got on my feet. There were a couple of quick news reports about the incident, but none of them showed my photo. I got a new fake ID and everything is set up.

A year after getting a job and my own place, I started HRT therapy. I’ve been on it for seven years. I’m a lot happier than I used to be in some ways, but I’m still unhappy in other ways. For the first couple of years, I didn’t feel bad about starting over and what my parents would think, but I started to, and it’s been getting worse ever since. One day, I was walking to work and passed by my parents on the street. They must’ve been visiting for some reason. It really shook me up, and I called in sick for the day. It was surreal to see them again. They had aged so much. It made me wonder what they must’ve thought about me, if they missed me, what they were doing now. I realized I did love them in some way. I walked right past them, and they didn’t even see me. That hurt, too, as weird as it sounds.”

—newlifethrowaway