Not all secrets are meant to be shared…but some people decide to anyway, at least anonymously on the internet.
User Mr_Boothnath on Reddit asked, “What is a secret you’re taking to the grave, but are willing to tell strangers on the internet?”
Some of these secrets are funny, embarassing, or just downright shocking. Here they are:
1.
“My dad wears a $3000 leather jacket I stole from Bloomingdale’s and later gifted to him.”
2.
“When my grandma was sick and close to passing away, my dad wasn’t able to sleep much those nights. One night, I decided to sneak out and hot box my neighbor’s tree house with my neighbor friend and another girl who also snuck out to meet us. When I was sneaking out, I accidentally turned on the flash to my phone. That same night, my grandma passed away. When the morning came and my dad got the call that his mom had passed, he told us that during the night he saw a light flash and he thinks it’s his mom saying her goodbye to him. This kills me inside because if only he knew I was out smoking and getting high, he would probably kill me. A part of me thinks ‘well f*ck it, he thinks his mom said goodbye just let it be.’ I think about it every now and then and it makes me feel a little sick to my stomach.”
3.
“I accidentally threw away my sister’s wedding ring while cleaning the kitchen years ago and let everyone believe she just lost it at the beach.”
4.
“I’ve never actually read some of the ‘classic’ books I pretend to have read. Like I read the summaries and watched the movies but the actual books? Nah. At this point, I’m too deep in the lie to admit it.”
5.
“My wife pooped when she delivered our baby, but I’m never going to let her know she did, no matter how many times she asks me.”
6.
“Had two friends I grew up with who got married. Woman was cheating and I knew it and had seen her with the other guy. Sent a letter to the husband and told him and who she was doing it with. He hired a PI and she was busted within a week.”
7.
“When I was a teenager, my parents gave my sister and I skiing lessons. At the end of the year the whole ‘school’ had a competition. We used a slope that had gates installed. I don’t remember what the colors meant, but one meant you had to pass by on the gate’s left side, the other on the right. I’m not that great, I’m at the end of the my second year of lessons. I’m no athlete. So I do my best, start the race, go around the gates as fast as I can. Halfway through the slope, I go too fast or something, and realize that I won’t be able to make a specific gate. I have to skip it. Alright, I skip it. I arrive down, ask for my time, yay, finished the race. Later on, when all the times were compiled, they gave me a gold medal because I had the best time. I won the competition. I didn’t f*cking win, I cheated and no one saw it.
8.
“I’m the one who told the cops where my brother in-law was so they could arrest him. They surrounded the house and I caved like a baby.”
9.
“So my husband knows this, but I secretly called the emergency vet when my sister’s dog was ill and put my card down. She had to put a down payment to be seen, so the vet office just told her that down payment covered the entire visit (was like $100). I know she’d be grateful but also feel guilty and like a charity case if she knew, so I’ll take that one to the grave.”
10.
“I was in P.E in high school and there was an autistic kid who people bullied because he was different. We had a wrestling class once and he had to take his glasses off and left them in his sweater. I had no idea and accidentally stepped on them and broke them. I said nothing because of being embarrassed or shy or ashamed that I broke them. And when he found them he was very sad because he thought someone broke them on purpose just to mess with him. I still feel bad to this day for not speaking up and apologizing.”
11.
“I sharted at work and I had to ditch my boxers in the garbage bin.”
12.
“When I was a kid, I changed my sister’s height in the Wii Fit to something much shorter than she was. So the next time she weighed herself, the Wii Fit told her she was obese and she cried and never used it again.”
13.
I was never good at school. There were a couple of classes in my final year of college that I wouldn’t have been able to pass without engaging in dishonest methods on the assignments and tests. I just didn’t understand the material and I knew I didn’t need that knowledge to succeed in real world jobs. The (dream) job offer I already had was contingent on me getting my degree that semester. So…I did whatever I needed to to pass those classes and was lucky to not get caught.”
14.
Took my mom’s brand new 1977 Pontiac Grand Prix out joy riding with my girlfriend and slid it into a yellow fire hydrant, destroying the passenger side (15, no license). I drove it home and parked it knowing that I was going to die soon. Mom went to go get groceries and parked next to a lifted beat up yellow truck. Mom came home fuming that this truck had destroyed her car.
15.
“At age 13, I spent the family coin collection on candy and pinball, one silver quarter at a time.”
16.
“At work, I systematically altered hundreds of transactions over months so I would win a sales contest.”
17.
“My partner is a BIG hockey fan. He brought a jacket by his favorite team a few years back. A couple of winters ago, I was rearranging winter clothes and separating them by family members. I used trash bags because it was handy. Put them away for the winter. Well….my partner’s hockey jacket is missing…and I think it got mistakenly thrown with the trash bags… I feel really bad about it but will not say a word.”
18.
“Years ago, my wife and I were looking for a new house. We were out with the agent one day touring a house that we really liked. Then, I unexpectedly had to take a big dump while we were there. No big deal, we were thinking of buying the place anyway, so why not try the plumbing out? So I did. But then, realized there was no toilet paper anywhere, and I definitely needed some. My solution? There was a beige towel hanging next to the shower. I used that, then carefully hung it back on the towel rack. Told the wife I no longer thought this was the house for us, and we left.”
19.
“My roommate and I were broke back in the day. We used to order cheap pizza from this local place and sheepishly paid with loose change and rumpled bills. We never had enough for a tip so she’d flash her boobs as ‘the tip.’ It was appreciated every time. She’s now a C-suite-level executive at a large bank.
20.
“I stole a dog from an abusive owner and gave it to a loving family. He has an amazing life now, and it’s probably the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.”
21.
“About a year before he died, my dad told me I was his favorite child. I will NEVER tell my siblings, or anyone else even remotely known to my family.”
22.
“I lied on my resume. I got my dream job, and I’ve done a good job. But my lie was bad. I made a fake email and had an extra phone number.”
23.
“I worked in a crystal shop and accidentally broke two expensive items. I blamed it on customers.”
24.
“Family member had a baby out of wedlock, gave it up for adoption, and the only people who know about this kid are dead, except the family member and me. Family member has kids now, they have no idea about their half-sibling. Family member doesn’t know that I know. I only know because someone who has passed let it slip one time when we were drinking.”
25.
“My sister is only my half-sister. My mom cheated, got pregnant and tricked my dad into thinking it was his. I pieced it together over the years from accounts and my mom admitted it one night over drinks when I asked her. I don’t see any upside telling my sister or dad.”
26.
“I was opening a new TV and accidentally dragged the scissors across the front of the cardboard. It scratched the TV. I claimed that it came like that, and they replaced it.”
27.
“I’ve lied for years about a Master’s degree I don’t actually have. All of my trivia team believes I have an advanced degree. I lied to sound more impressive. It will forever haunt me, and I worry about my team finding out.”
28.
“My best friend’s dad was at a bar that my other friend and I showed up to. He hit on us and offered drinks. He kept trying to get us to go home with him. We never told her. In our 40s now.”
29.
“I stole my Dad’s iPod and gave it to my school crush (in Elementary school)…. The mf took the iPod and teased me for liking him.”
30.
And finally, “My sister and I both got goldfish when we were younger. Mine died almost instantly (like 2-3 days after getting it). I swapped her fish for mine, and that Goldfish lived for like 3.5 years. I never told anyone else.”
What did you think about these secrets? Do you have one that you want to share? Let us know in the comments or via the anonymous form below!
Related
Discover more from InstiWitty Media Studios
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
