People Are Revealing Why They Had Affairs With Married People, And Holyyyy Crap

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“I dated her briefly in high school before we broke up, and she ended up moving away. We would talk periodically every few weeks or months until she got married and stopped contacting me. A few years later, one day, out of the blue, she messaged me that her marriage wasn’t working out, she was pretty sure he was having an affair, and she was positive they were heading for a divorce. Just a few hours later, she was sending me nudes and telling me she wished it had been me instead.

“We continued like that for months, exchanging nudes and dirty messages until he moved out and they filed for divorce, and she was asking me when we could finally meet up with each other since we lived thousands of miles apart. We made a plan for her to come see me, but just a couple of days before she was to come down, I got cold feet and told her that I actually had a lot going on and that she should cancel her trip. She was upset, but she understood, and we still kept exchanging pictures and messages.

A few short months later, the tone of her messages started to change; she grew colder and distant, and eventually she stopped responding to my messages altogether. I noticed on her socials that she was posting pictures with her ex-husband. I confronted her, and she admitted that they were getting back together, his affair had ended, and they were going to work on it for the kids. I still tried to keep in contact with her, but she kept ignoring my messages. I eventually gave up, until a few years later, when a buddy and I were looking at stories on Snapchat, and her picture came up. We both messaged her. She left him on read but immediately responded to my message. 

We spent the next few days catching up, her and her ex husband were doing well but I missed her, in my mind she was the one that got away so I decided to pursue her and eventually she caved. We started exchanging nudes and dirty messages again, she said she felt like we were teenagers again, and I was trying to convince her to move in with me. I didn’t want to lose her again, but she was scared to jeopardize her life that she had just worked so hard to get back on track. Eventually I wore her down but I unknowingly wore myself down too, once she finally agreed to move, I didn’t want her to anymore. I figured if it would be this hard to convince her to be with me, everything else with her would be 10X harder, plus, I didn’t really want to be a stepparent to her kids anyway. I ended up ghosting her the same way she originally ghosted me. Eventually, she gave up trying to get a hold of me, and she blocked me everywhere. I haven’t seen or heard from her since.”

—Anonymous, 34, male, California