What’s it like to move to another country and parent a child in a foreign culture? I recently asked the Buzzfeed Community, and also foraged through some Reddit threads (here, here). While there were both good and bad experiences, the results were surprisingly in favor of parenting abroad! Here’s what they had to say.
1.
“We recently moved to Italy from the US for the military, and children are allowed to be children! We have a 2-year-old, so lots of tantrums, naturally, but we usually get compassionate smiles from others in the restaurant, or the servers will bring us candy/coloring books. They expect kids to have big feelings and not act like adults. It’s so refreshing and much less embarrassing.”
2.
“Irish parents are way less stressed out about safety. Not that they’re not good parents — they are, but they’re more relaxed about loads of things like neighborhood kids playing unsupervised. I really noticed the difference when some (mostly Irish) parents and I were waiting outside our school for the kids to finish practicing a play. All of a sudden, the kids started screaming and yelling. The other American parent and I were immediately on high alert and heading for the school. The Irish parents didn’t even look around. They never for a second imagined their kids might be in danger at school. Turns out the noise we heard was just the kids cheering the end of their rehearsal.”
3.
“Well, I’ve certainly noticed that white families in the UK don’t hit their children. And as someone who is reallllly against violence of any kind, I don’t see this as a bad thing. In my community (Northwest Russia), we grew up pretty fearful of parents or grandparents and their wooden spoon or belt! On the flip side, it’s also clear that people don’t really do anything to discipline their kids…which is also not good.”
4.
“I live in Spain and children are pretty coddled. I remember my niece having her food cut up for her around age 10. And the other day I was talking to parents who said they wouldn’t allow their 12-year-olds to go to school alone by public transport (our children are all 5 and 6 now). It looks like children run wild because they’re outdoors a lot, and it’s true we let them run around the park or beach for hours, but they aren’t allowed to go anywhere alone. Parents do a lot for their children until pretty old. I can’t really imagine asking teenagers I know here to babysit like I did around age 13.”
5.
“I’m from the US, but in Austria now. The neighborhood kids here are practically feral (in the best way). We have a gate in the back garden that goes into the forest, and our kids will run around with all the other neighborhood kids back there until the church bell rings at 7 p.m. We do get invaded sometimes for ‘jause’ [snacks], but the neighbors also feed our kids, so it’s all good. The kids all walk/take the tram to school together starting in first grade.”
6.
“Where I am now — South America — children are VERY coddled and not expected to be independent at all until they’re a lot older. I work with 5-year-olds, and they all have nannies who literally do everything for them, including spoon-feeding them. There’s a lot of resistance from parents for developing independence too.”
7.
“How independent the kids are. We moved from UK to Austria and there was a huge difference in how kids are treated. In a lot of places in the UK it’s very unusual to allow primary age children to take public transport by themselves, but here it’s very normal. Kids still play in the street and are allowed to go to play parks by themselves — it’s a lot more like my own childhood.”
8.
“I lived in Italy, and now I’m in Albania. If a restaurant even has a kids’ menu, it’s just smaller portions of adult meals. You don’t see chicken nuggets at a seafood place. Kids do go anywhere, and they tend to be pretty well-behaved, even if there are no adults around. The street I used to live on always had kids playing soccer there, and when I’d come out my gate, they’d immediately stop, gather the ball, and say hello. In museums, they tend to be quiet and respectful (not in a ‘seen and not heard’ way, just not screaming, or yelling or running around).”
9.
“We moved from Germany to the Philippines (husband is Filipino) with our now 16-month-old. Raising our baby is so much cheaper here, and you need a lot less stuff. In Germany, you need a nice crib, a changing table, a stroller, a baby bathtub and so much more. We need none of these things here. People here generally bed share and wash their babies in the shower using a cup with a handle called a tabo. You just change the babies on the floor or one parent holds them up while the other changes the diaper.”
10.
“My son was older when we moved to Southern Spain, and the big difference is how many kids in their mid-20s live with their parents. Part of it is due to unemployment, but part of it is cultural. To be clear, I think keeping the family connection stronger is important, and the US swings from over-coddling the youth to ‘on your own and responsible for it all’ much too quickly. But this cultural difference stood out quite a bit when we moved a few years ago.”
11.
“In Japan, kids need a ton of ‘equipment’ for school. A special backpack called andoseru, a special art kit, a hooter (aka, melodica, aka melodion), a lunch place setting, a little towel, a little pack of tissues for the day, and shoes you only wear inside the school. The kids are generally pretty well-disciplined, and you don’t see too much unruly behavior or chaos. Restaurant behavior seems pretty similar to me.”
12.
“I homeschooled my little boy because we lived in a very conservative school district in Kentucky. I did NOT want him to confuse science and religion, and I wanted to ensure he sees LGBTIA+ folks as humans deserving of all civil rights. We moved to Brandenburg in Berlin, Germany. I was not aware that I’m not allowed to homeschool my child here. Homeschooling isn’t allowed because Germans see it as an avenue for religious extremism and believe it hinders a child’s ability to integrate into society. I went over all of the standards and syllabus, and I’m okay with sending my precious baby off to school here. Also, knowing his school will never be shot up is nice.”
13.
“USA to Mexico. I see so many small children just out and about on their own. Walking to school. Playing at the park. Going to the local stores to pick up small groceries. Lots of parents do not use child restraints in vehicles. It’s not unusual to see an infant on a motorcycle.”
14.
“We moved to NZ when my child was very nearly 6. This meant that instead of returning to kindergarten, which he’d just spent one month in the US, he went straight into Year One. This was in October. The school year runs alongside the calendar year, so he was in Year Two at the end of January the next year. He was really happy about that. He went from, ‘Now, are these crayons okay for you?’ to ‘Let’s read this book together, help out your classmate next to you if they need it.’ The only thing that he had a little trouble with was the accent here. Because of the Americanization of television and movies, everyone could understand him, but he hadn’t been exposed to the Kiwi accent. It took him a couple of months, but that’s fine. Fifteen years later, he has the most unique US/NZ blended accent!”
15.
“Prague has phenomenal American international and British schools. I’ve had many friends whose kids have gone to both, and when they got back to the States, they were head and shoulder ahead of American classmates.”
16.
“Every single American expat parent I have spoken to has stated that they never realized just how pleasant it is to know your kid will not be in a school shooting. That seems to be a biggie for them.”
17.
“We moved to Spain last year when my kiddo was 7 and had been homeschooled for kindergarten because of COVID. I will say they don’t seem super proactive about learning disabilities. I believe he has ADHD (like me), but they don’t really seem to do much evaluation for it. But he’s doing okay and getting support from tutors, so it’s going pretty great.”
18.
“We moved to Austria when our kids were 5 and 7. Zero regrets for them. They go to the local schools and LOVE them. We love that they don’t have school shooting drills or school shootings. We feel like Austria is very child-friendly as well.”
Have you ever moved abroad with your children? Tell us all about it in the comments below.
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