When I became a parent, I found myself thinking a lot about the way my own parents raised me and my siblings. And now, a year and a half into raising my own daughter, I’m realizing there are certainly a handful of things my parents did way better than I’m doing myself. So I found myself intrigued when Redditor RoyalBlueDooBeeDoo asked, “What’s something your parents did better than you as parents?” Here’s what people said.
1.
“My mom seemed to have endless energy for taking the kids on outings to fun places, and she did the same for me growing up. It may be because she had two kids while we had four, but we’re lucky if we go on a family outing once a month due to the logistics of it all. Luckily, we’re all a bunch of homebodies, but it’s something I appreciate about my mom. The kids have fun when Nana comes to town.”
2.
“Being truly present during family meals. Back then, my parents weren’t glancing at their smart watch or checking their phone at the table. When we had dinner, and I wanted to tell them about the extra huge stick I found outside earlier that day, I knew my parents were enthralled in my story. I have implemented a no phones at the table rule, but my husband and our closest friends all have smartwatches, and sometimes it makes me so sad, seeing my kid checking his watch mid-story…”
3.
“My mom had so much patience for imaginary play when I was young. I have such a hard time forcing myself to play that way with my kids.”
4.
“My parents were certainly better at just getting on with discipline, not in a sadistic way, but they just seemed confident in their approach and never seemed to second guess every little thing. I am envious of that.”
5.
“My mom would always spend the time baking and decorating my birthday cakes. We may have struggled a bit with money, but when it was my birthday, my mom spent so much time baking food and then making a cake for me that she decorated in all kinds of fantastic shapes and colors. I can barely make time for anything for my kids.”
6.
“My parents managed to be present despite their work. My dad had (and still does) a very high-stress and demanding job, but we never really knew or noticed it until we became adults. He was always home at five o’clock sharp and spent all his time with us kids; he also somehow had one-on-one time with all four kids, took us on weekend trips, and never missed a school play.”
7.
“They had a better social life than I do as a parent. I remember my parents having cookouts when I was very young with the neighbors, some families they’d met when my siblings and I were infants (or maybe even when they were pregnant), the local small-town vet, families of my older siblings friends, and all the children of these people.”
8.
“Not just parents but their whole generation was better at keeping extended family (uncles, aunts, cousins, etc) more intact. We did everything together: all holidays (big and small), all birthdays, and even spent all summer together. My cousins were some of my closest friends. My generation has largely disbanded (including the close cousins!) and it almost feels like it’s forced when we do get together, like no one wants to be there.”
9.
“Mine took me outside and to parks so often, on lots of nice walks, and I just remember being out a lot, which was nice. Honestly, I really struggle with this with my kids. I sort of hate being at the playground and tend to be desperate to be back home.”
10.
“They had less anxiety. When I was in fifth grade I once wandered around our town for a full day before I went home. Sometimes my parents would be gone on work for multiple days and only check in once or twice. If at family/friends’ houses, I wouldn’t hear from them until I saw them again. Meanwhile, If I don’t hear my kids in the next room within a few minutes I completely panic. If I have to be away from them for whatever reason, I text every hour and make sure to talk to them on the phone at least two or three times. I haven’t slept in years because I wake up so many times to check that they’re breathing or have a blanket on them, or to make sure they are simply still there. I’m exhausted.’
11.
“They didn’t worry as much or helicopter me. They let me have lots of autonomy and freedom to explore in ways that aren’t accepted now such as playing outside for hours with the neighbors’ kids).
12.
“My mom was a Pinterest mom before there was Pinterest. She is crafty and loves holidays and birthdays. She did such a great job making those days special when we were growing up. I am definitely not as good about that- partly because my parenting style is different. I have a hard time coming up with gifts for each holiday because I buy things throughout the year (don’t save things to give as gifts), and we have never started some of the traditions my mom had for birthdays. My kids are so lucky to have her as a grandma.”
13.
“Making a point to eat dinner as a family every night. My family didn’t have a lot of money growing up, but my mom cooked dinner every night and we ate dinner together as a family. Both my parents worked full-time, so my mom cooked a full dinner every day after work. I work from home and I can’t muster the energy to do that.”
14.
“My mom always volunteered at my school with reading, baking, and chaperoning on school excursions, etc. I wish I had the time to be so involved with my kids’ school.”
15.
“My mom is very creative, and we often did arts and crafts type fun. I just don’t have the energy or patience that she had when I was growing up.”
16.
“My mom did an excellent job at fostering independence in me. She had a lot of faith in me to not mess things up from a young age and for that reason, I became very competent and capable.”
17.
“Cooking. We never ate out as kids. My brothers and I ate everything. My kids are so damn picky, and it is 100% the fault of me and my partner.”
18.
“My grandparents raised me, so my answer is with them in mind. They had boundless energy. Somehow, they had boundless energy, raising us 3 grandkids (after already raising 2 of their own to adulthood), and here I am completely flat-out exhausted, hardly willing to hang in there, with just one kid who is a toddler.”
19.
“My parents always seemed to manage to have time for all of our various holiday traditions, and I could not tell you how they did this. We had a TON of Christmas traditions, but I can barely get a decoration up before the wretched day arrived. I feel so bad that my kid has no real traditions to look forward to…”
What did your parents do better (or worse) than you do as a parent? Tell us in the comments or in this anonymous form.
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