Mental Health Professionals Share The “Small” Things Parents Do That Hurt Their Kids Later, And Wow

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“Mental health professional here. These are some off the cuff things that come to mind: Kids learn how to treat themselves, hold boundaries, self-care, etc, from how their parents treat themselves. Parents, you are a child’s model. Model self-respect and self-care. Hold yourself to high standards without denigrating yourself. You get the idea.”

“The worst thing a parent can do is criticize/provide inconsistent attachment. Most of us go to therapy to resolve issues around feeling worthy of what we need/want. Parents who shame their kids for mistakes, or even for something like crying when upset, can create these kinds of problems around emotional regulation. You don’t need to coddle a tantrum, but shaming it is not a great way to teach kids to self-soothe. It is, however, VERY difficult not to treat your kids the way your parents treated you. I can’t tell you how hard it is not to scream back at a screaming kid if that’s how you were treated. There are bio-social factors that were wired into your brain long before you were old enough to procreate. Therefore, self-care, admitting mistakes, and getting your own therapy to resolve your own issues is key.”

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