14.
“Marriage is freaking hard. My husband and I went into it fully acknowledging that love is a choice. You choose each other and the relationship every day. If you’re lucky, you realize that you’re growing up together and you work to figure out your communication style. You work to get to know yourself, your triggers, and your partner’s. You make mistakes, and you hurt each other. I think I got lucky because my husband is my best friend, but he still does things that frustrate me. Plus, add parenting to the mix, and you watch and feel your own childhood resurface. The decisions you make now affect your baby and your family unit. After 11 years of parenting, 18 years of marriage, and almost 21 years of being together, yes! I fantasize about getting away and doing my own thing, or going on trips with friends, and guess what? I do it! Because my husband understands, and he wants to do his own thing sometimes, too.”
“We support each other’s dreams, and we always talk through the hard things. It can really suck, but since we have the same mindset of choosing to love each other and nurture the relationship, we come out the other end feeling closer. Sex can be hard when you have kids, but even if it’s infrequent, the longing can turn into silly and flirty fun outside of the bedroom, and then when you actually do get together, it’s super hot and fun. Don’t tell my kid. HA! The biggest thing that helps us all is having fun and being silly together. Nothing heals like laughter.”
—Anonymous, 46, California
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