They say when you know you know, but how do people actually know that they’ve found their person? Redditor ArtemisMendez asked, “For married redditors, what was the moment that you thought, ‘I’m gonna marry this man/woman?'” Here is what people in long-term, committed relationships said while looking back.
1.
“When he blurted out that he loved me so much (for the very first time) during a quick lunch date because we had just found out we both hated eggnog. He tried to play it off like it was not a big deal. I didn’t trust my own judgement back then, but my gut already said he’s the one. It’s been 11 years together, we’ve been married for five and a half years, we have an almost one-year-old baby.”
2.
“We had a new dog, a six-month-old basset mix picked up from Craigslist. She had a bunch of problem behaviors like peeing when we came into the house, and she was super pushy about wanting to lick our faces. My boyfriend of the time came home one day and she peed on the rug, and he got really frustrated and mad. I told him that he needed to make a decision today. Either we take her back, or he figures out how to train her to work with our lives. But I would not accept him getting angry at her….”
3.
“I got severe food poisoning. It was the most unwell I’ve ever been in my life, and he literally cleaned me up in the shower. He cleaned the floors and bathroom and bought me a whole bunch of new PJs. We hadn’t even been together very long, and he is an absolute goof and could have easily made jokes (to lighten the mood) both at the time and long after, but he never did. He knew how sick I was, and more so how humiliating I found the whole thing.”
4.
“She drove on our first date. I was looking through her CD collection, as you did at the time, and found Tenacious D. I just put it in the CD player and we did car karaoke through the whole album.”
5.
“After dating and living together for three years, I tried to think about my future, and I could not for the life of me picture a future without her in it. So I knew, and over 25 years later, the best part of our day is getting to see each other.”
6.
“We were long-distance. When we met for the first time after eight months of talking. They knew I was allergic to flowers, so they got me broccoli (my favorite vegetable) stalks wrapped in ribbon. It was the most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for me. Someone had actually gone out of their way to make sure I felt special and welcome. Six years later, and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.”
7.
“We were at dinner with his family, and he has a younger brother who is on the spectrum. His brother ordered something weird to show off, and my now-husband quietly ordered something he knew his brother would actually lik,e so when his brother eventually melted down, my husband could offer to trade. I knew right then I wanted to marry someone who knew and cared about their family to that extent.”
8.
“We had one date, which was a disaster for many reasons. I assumed that date was the last, and didn’t expect to ever see him again. A few days later, I get a call at work. They said, ‘Your husband is on the phone.’ He immediately popped into my mind. He apologized profusely and said he didn’t know why he had asked for his wife. I guess we knew. We’ve been married for 25 years.”
9.
“We left his house to go out somewhere, and he told his dog in a totally normal voice, ‘We’re going out now, we will be back soon.’ There was not an ounce of embarrassment about talking to his dog like he was people in front of his new girlfriend. I knew there and then he was a keeper.”
10.
“We’re not married yet, but we’re engaged and have been together 12 years. I knew he was the one when, about six months in, he noticed my anxiety spike at a party, and I started getting overwhelmed. He pretended he was really tired and asked if I was ready to head home to bed. We stopped off and got a snack, and as we walked back to his, it started to snow. He looked at me and said, ‘This is way better than any party, and that was it, I knew.”
11.
“It was when we moved in together. When we were dating, I was renting a condo, and the owner decided to sell, which meant I needed a new place to live. She said, ‘Why don’t you just move in with me?’ So I did. After about a week, I knew I wanted to marry her. I can’t say it was any one thing in particular. Just knew it was right. We were married less than a year later.”
12.
“He stayed with me through months of health issues. I got diagnosed with a brain tumor a month into dating. He’s still here, but the tumor is not.”
13.
“I had a cat that he did not like, or that he pretended not to like. He used to talk about how he just wasn’t a cat person. But then one day, when he didn’t realize I was home, I heard him singing a little song to my cat about how pretty she was and how cute her little paws were. That was the moment I knew. He does admit now that he is, in fact, a cat person.”
14.
“I met my now spouse when we were in college. We’d been dating for a few months when a stomach bug went around the dorm, and it hit me like a truck. It got them, too, but milder, so they were taking care of me while I puked my guts out. I remember talking to my mom on the phone, explaining how I was doing and how this person I’d been dating was making me drink ginger ale and disposing of my ruined trash can, and she said they sounded like a keeper. It will be 12 years this summer. Married three. There were lots of moments in those years that made me want to marry them, but that was the first.”
15.
“It felt easy to make her happy. No acting, no need to triple-check what I was going to say or do. There was no question about whether she was being genuine or just humoring me… Every interaction just felt comfortable, like being wrapped in a blanket on a cold evening by the fire. It was different from every other relationship I had been in.”
16.
“I notoriously overthink my relationships to an OCD extent. I know my girls, the one because no matter what headspace I’m in, I know I’d do anything to make her bad days better. It’s the most selfless I’ve felt towards a person.”
17.
“On our first date. His passion for comic books stood out to me. We talked for hours about our likes/dislikes, characters, story arcs, artists, and writers. I realized he is just as much of a nerd as I am, and I never wanted to leave his side. Happily married now, with a storage unit full of comics. He’s my best friend.”
18.
“It was one of our first dates. We drove to a tulip festival in Washington State, where we lived at the time. We spent all day together, joking and enjoying ourselves, and when we got back, I realized I wanted to keep hanging out with her, even though we didn’t live together. She’s one of the only people I’ve ever met whom I don’t get tired of being around. We have our fights, sure, but we might take 30 minutes or an hour apart, and both come back apologizing. 14 years and nine years of marriage later, and I still never get sick of her.”
19.
“I was cooking us dinner, listening to music. A song I’d never heard came on, and I imagined her in a wedding dress walking towards me. I began to sob and knew it was time to ask her to marry me. We had our first dance to that song at our wedding two years later.”
Share your story! If you’re in a long-term, committed relationship, what was the moment you knew that you’d found your person? Tell us in the comments or in this anonymous form.
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