Married Men Are Sharing The “Unexpected” Advice That Kept Their Relationship From Falling Apart

3.

“I always put my wife first, before anything else. Whenever I tell people this, they always say ‘well, your kids should be first.’ Like, I get it. I take care of my kids, always will. I’m not gonna neglect them or anything like that. But putting my marriage first is essential, because us being happy means our kids will have a better life. Also, the best-case scenario with kids is that they move out and get married, so you get 18–24-ish years of them living with you. Then they’re gone from your day-to-day life. I hope to be with my wife until I’m old and dead, so 40+ years. So, yes, I’ve never understood the whole ‘neglect your spouse once kids come around’ attitude — and people act surprised when the divorce comes. Nobody wants to be married to someone that doesn’t make an effort on them.”

–Beep_Boop_Beepity

“Never, ever fall into the trap of ‘always put the kids first.’ 

Sure, sometimes the kids do have to come first, especially for the first few years. But make sure that is a temporary situation and doesn’t become the default.

And no — of course I’m not saying to ignore your kids. I’m saying that you started out as a couple, and to help you stay a couple after the kids have grown up and moved on into their adult lives, you MUST still be a healthy couple while you raise the kids.”

–thenagel