I Wrote Over 100 Letters To My Future Husband. Reading Them Now Has Been Excruciating.

I figured the goofy letters might resonate with some folks online, but I had no idea how much. Countless women in the comments of my videos have shared similar stories and experiences. I was shocked to find out just how many people burn their old journals and husband letters. Burning seems excessive to me, but hey — your letters, your choice to perform a sacramental bonfire, am I right?

Many followers have thanked me for the “bravery” of sharing a bit of my story. While I appreciate the sentiment, I don’t actually think reading the letters online is all that brave. I think the brave person in this story is the teenager who found a way to survive far more than she should have had to handle, and who survived deconstructing a belief system that supported her entire identity and worldview. The bravest thing I’ve ever done is heal.

And every time we share a letter online, a little bit more healing happens. We laugh until our stomachs hurt and we gasp at the melodramatic high school tales I’ve gifted myself from the past. The sweetest irony is that I originally meant these letters to be a way for me to connect with My Future Husband … and they are! Just not remotely in the way I imagined. 

In retrospect, the letters were misguided, but this journey has given me deep compassion and empathy for the young woman who wrote them. She grew from a teenage girl whose wildest fantasy for her future was having a husband to obey to a woman who knows that being a wife is the least interesting thing about her.

If you grew up anything like me, especially if you’re working to deconstruct your harmful internalized beliefs — I hope this series also reminds you that there’s so much more power, agency and purpose in life than being someone’s wife. I initially shared my letters to My Future Husband online because I was hoping to make you laugh, but the best outcome I could hope for is to also help you heal. 

Abigail Freshley is a writer, reader, podcast host and social media over-sharer based in Los Angeles. She reflects on her evangelical upbringing, love of books and obsession with her dog, Bonnie, on Instagram and TikTok. 

This article originally appeared on HuffPost in March 2026.