I thought it was bad when this man sold Bibles. And sneakers. And fragrances. Honestly, the list already seemed long for, you know, a sitting president of the United States.
But this gift guide is one of the wildest things I’ve ever seen. Here are just 22 of the many, many items that Donald Trump is selling for the holidays:
1.
You can grab a Make America Great Again ornament for just $92 — what a bargain!
2.
But if that ornament isn’t quite your style, fret not. Trump’s also selling a $95 Mar-a-Lago one.
3.
Which golf lover wouldn’t want to receive a $65 jump scare, uh, I mean, driver cover?
4.
Check out this 45-47 blanket. For $200, you can “decorate your home with the love of our country and the deep history of President Trump.”
5.
Is four more years constitutional? No. Does that stop Trump from selling this $55 hat on his website? Also no.
6.
Similarly, this $36 Trump 2028 shirt — complete with “rewrite the rules” — is not worrying at all, nope.
7.
MAGA supporters are totally known for their incredible fashion sense, right? Perhaps that explains why they’re paying $550 for this clutch.
8.
This snow globe is, for some inexplicable reason, $80.
9.
Do you play pickleball? If so, surely you’ll want to fork over $180 to “represent your love for America with your next win.”
10.
Any bookworms on your list? Save America is only $110 — and what a conversation starter for the living room table.
11.
This $55 cypress and fir holiday candle “captures the scent of fresh-cut trees and cherished holiday traditions.”
12.
For $205, this Trump robe claims to take “indulgence to the next level.”
13.
But if that’s too steep for you, Trump also offers this $145 signature short pajama set — super worth it for the “detailed white trim and Trump embroidery.”
14.
If you’re shopping for children this year, have I got the perfect gift for you: this $32 Trump pail set is absolutely, positively what they’re hoping to unwrap.
15.
And if you’re searching for baby gifts, this $28 Trump ice pop onesie comes in four sizes and features a “patriotic ice pop.”
16.
Then there’s this $78 gold Mar-a-Lago serving tray, because who doesn’t want to bring “that Palm Beach glam right into your home?”
17.
Hoping to spend more time connecting with nature in 2026? Set up one of these Trump deck chairs in the backyard. It might cost $1,200, but moments outside are priceless. Oh, and FYI, it’s made from “the purest form of recycled plastic” and “will need to be assembled at home.”
18.
The $250 needlepoint flag pillow to ruin any good office or living room.
19.
I know everyone’s discussing the affordability crisis right now, but this $98 Gulf of America crew is really what people care about.
20.
This $185 Trump football because why not?
21.
No better way to “show your American spirit” than opening wine with a $28 bald eagle corkscrew.
22.
And finally, can’t forget to use some $28 Trump wrapping paper so you can add “a patriotic flare to any gift” (yes, they misspelled flair on the website).
What do you think about Trump’s Holiday Gift Guide? Do you hate it, or do you HATE it? LMK in the comments below!