I Spent Thousands On Vaginal Rejuvenation. Here’s What It Did — And Didn’t — Do.

I brought this question to my next appointment in Albuquerque. My gynecologist told me to wait to finish all three treatments before coming to any conclusions. But the results from the second treatment weren’t all that noteworthy. And the same was true for the third and final treatment. It seemed to me the major benefits of vaginal rejuvenation occurred after the first treatment. It had a very positive effect on the overall wellbeing of my vagina but didn’t fix the painful symptoms I was experiencing during intercourse.

Six months after my initial doctor’s visit, I was back in the examining room detailing my experience. My doctor and I agreed that researching and devoting more funds to women’s health has a long way to go. Most women can’t afford expensive vaginal laser treatments, and instead, are learning to normalize their pain or simply avoid talking about it.

Did vaginal rejuvenation fix the painful symptoms I experienced during sex? No. Do I feel comfortable using an estrogen cream? Again, no. But I think of the waiting room at the Dana Farber Cancer Center — and I guess I can live with it. The question is, why should I? Why is there a little blue pill for erections and not an effective medication for vaginal dryness? Yet again, it seems we have been given the shaft.

Before I left, my doctor wrote me a prescription for Lidocaine, a numbing cream.

“Put this on twenty minutes before sex, it really helps,” she said. Before she left the room she turned and gave me a half smile, as if to say, welcome to menopause, we’ve come a long way, baby. But have we? 

There are a few other non-estrogen vaginal atrophy treatments out there — and maybe someday I’ll try them. For now, my partner and I are exploring what “successful intercourse” means to us. Penetration is only one way of having sex — there are lots of fun things to do.

After I was catapulted into menopause, we were forced into these awkward but ultimately fruitful discussions ― and in many ways, they’ve brought us closer together. We’ve redefined what sex and intimacy look like to us — and that feels like a success. 

Anna Sullivan Reiser is an author and mental health therapist. She writes for The Insider and is co-host of the upcoming podcast “Healing + Dealing,” which shines a spotlight on young survivorship issues. She lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico, with her husband and two children. You can contact her at annasullivanreiser.com or follow on instagram @healinganddealingpod.

This article originally appeared on HuffPost in November 2022.