I Got Rich Working For An MLM — And It Cost Me Everything That Truly Mattered

The stress and constant pressure of keeping my pyramid intact, along with the endless travel, parties and events, escalated my anxiety and my drinking habit. I eventually sank into a deep substance use disorder, and nearly lost my life to it, all while keeping my MLM “dream” afloat.

As I continued to rise in the ranks, the things I experienced and saw eventually showed me clearly that this “dream” wasn’t manifesting for anyone but me. In fact, I was making money because so many people were losing money.

Back when I joined my MLM in a wine bar, my intentions were good, like most people who join an MLM. However, the impact didn’t match those intentions, and once I realized that, it was important for me to leave that harmful system. 

Almost seven years in, I quit. Despite being a “success story” in MLM terms, I realized that my success meant making money at the expense of others, ignoring my own intuition and chipping away at my integrity. MLM’s aren’t about women succeeding; they are about using the appearance of female success to help the company — not the women in it — make money.  

When I quit, I wondered, “Why aren’t more people talking about this?” Often they are embarrassed of becoming involved in the first place, and feel ashamed for falling for a scam, and in turn selling it to others.

I began asking women who quit my former MLM before I did why they quit. Their reasons echoed mine. I went on to personally interview hundreds of former MLM members who described their experiences as traumatic, depressing, stressful and cult-like. Just like me, they all joined believing they could help people, help themselves, have a community, a purpose, and earn money. And when those dreams didn’t come true, they believed the system, and the people at the top holding it together (including me), when we told them it was their fault for not working hard enough. 

Like me, they all burned bridges with friends and family. They strained their finances, their marriages and their life balance. The source of “extra income” they sought turned into a financial drain. The “time freedom” they desired was actually a timesuck. And the community they felt drawn into was actually a closed system that discouraged critical thinking. 

Unsurprisingly, there’s no easy button for achieving the work-life balance most moms aspire toward. Certainly not one with six-plus-figure salaries and no strings attached. The #girlboss dream we were sold is not a reality.  

I regret perpetuating this false image of success and possibility. However, one thing I learned when I got sober in 2017 is that the best apology is changed behavior. Talking and writing about my experience is part of my living amends for all the harm I did over those years. 

Now, I’m no longer one of “those friends.” I don’t have an ulterior motive when I invite someone for coffee. My instagram posts no longer allude to a “life-changing opportunity.” I found freedom from a system that is structurally designed to keep a few people afloat, and the majority of  people down.

I hope to help others find their way out, by paving the way for them to think more critically about the systems they are participating in, or at the very least, helping them feel less alone in their experiences. 

This article originally appeared on HuffPost in July 2023.