I Agreed To Meet My Ex-Husband's 2 Other Ex-Wives. I Did Not Expect That Decision To Change My Life.

On that sunny fall day, John, who, despite his infidelity, was always a good father, gave his daughter away. After the ceremony, the bride’s grandmother — my ex-mother-in-law — spotted me, grabbed me and insisted I find Wendy and Suzy for a photo.

Thirty-five years later, I was experiencing a redemption I never imagined: My ex-mother-in-law had sided with her son during our divorce, but now she was hugging me and asking how I was. She never verbally apologized for how she treated me all those years ago, but her actions were apology enough.

As Wendy, Suzy and I smiled into the camera, a piece of each of us was healed. Our ex-mother-in-law had recognized her son’s part in our failed marriages. If there was any bit of us that still felt inferior because of how we had been treated by John, it disappeared that day.

Since my marriage to John, I’ve been married two more times, and they both also ended in divorce. I’ve finally come into my own and no longer feel I need a man to be complete. Therapy helped me realize I was never actually afraid of being alone, I was afraid of “something being wrong with me” if I didn’t get married. But there isn’t — and there never was.

I love my autonomy and I love my life. Now, at 64, I know it’s my friendships that sustain me, and, really, they always have. I’m grateful for Wendy and Suzy and all that we’ve experienced together despite the unusual circumstances that brought us together, and I look forward to sharing many more years of fun and adventure and support with them.  

Note: Some names and details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals mentioned in this essay.

Frances Scott lives in Montana, where she writes essays and memoir. She is a professional pet-sitter, and when she isn’t reading, writing or caring for pets, she loves to explore the outdoors, hike and float the river. Her essays can be found in the New York Times, Next Avenue, Insider and Her Story. 

This article originally appeared on HuffPost in March 2024.