Here Are 13 Physical Signs That Indicate Your Loneliness Is Impacting Your Mental Health More Than You Realize

In case it hasn’t been said enough — loneliness doesn’t just live in your head. It lives in your nervous system, too. “Our bodies tell us so much before our minds can even get to it,” Bertrand said. And learning to listen isn’t about pathologizing or diagnosing yourself. It’s about understanding how deeply human these responses are — you’re feeling so lonely it low-key hurts, and your body is literally just looking out for you.

“Not everyone has chosen to be alone,” Bertrand said. “Whether it’s your nervous system keeping you safe or if you’ve experienced actual loss, it’s important to name where that loneliness is coming from and not saying, ‘I’m lonely because I am a bad person,’ or ‘I’m lonely because I did this to myself,’ or ‘I am unlovable,’ or ‘I’m not good enough.'”

“Instead, name it like ‘I’m lonely when I’m inside these particular groups,’ or ‘I’m lonely because closely feels unsafe to me,’ or ‘I’m lonely because I don’t feel understood, not just because I want to be around a ton of people.‘ It’s important to name it, and if your nervous system feels up to it, to gauge where you’re at.”