1.
This person who, evidently, has never been told “no” in his life:
2.
This person who said, “You don’t really like me unless you’re willing to pay for my healthcare :(“
3.
This person who really said, “You miss 100% of the shots you do not take”:
4.
This person and the absolute 180 they took in this text thread that made me spit out my water:
5.
This person who decided compliments are overrated and very specific insults are soooo in:
6.
This person, who gave a masterclass in how to be a walking red flag:
7.
This lil ray of sunshine who is not a fan on pickup lines:
8.
This guy that this person met on a dating app two days before this text exchange, FYI:
9.
This person who…doesn’t want to get to know the person they’re seeing between dates???
10.
This guy who showed up at this person’s house (she didn’t give him her address, BTW!) because she didn’t reply to his texts for ONE DAY, and then made the conscious choice to say SHE had a “mental issue”:
11.
Just…everything about this person and their strange lil brain:
12.
This person, who was ready to cut things off because they were being soOoOoOo neglected by the person they were talking to…only to be immediately humbled:
13.
This person who fucked around and found out, literally:
14.
This person, who apparently doesn’t know what “inside thoughts” are and decided to give their date a whole unsolicited Yelp review:
15.
This person who took this as a sign from the universe that it simply wasn’t meant to be:
16.
This ex’s attempt to slide into this person’s DMs that has me gagging (and not in a good way):
17.
This person, who said she’d be interested in doing something active for a date and then switched up real fast:
18.
This stage five clinger who simply could not fathom that some people are busy and have jobs:
19.
And finally, this bestie — who, TBH, we’ve all been — who is keeping it real as hell: