Black People Who Were Adopted By White Parents Are Sharing Their Experiences, And It's A Tough Read

6.

“I am bi-racial (Black and white) and identify as Black. I was adopted by white parents when I was two months old. What I want others to know is that I did not choose to be born. I did not choose my life to go from one traumatic experience to another, from the culture shock of living in a white society to being treated like a zoo animal in school with all white children. This is a lot for a child to process. I am 50 years old.”

“I am just now being able to understand my anger at how I was treated. My adoptive parents did the best they could with the lack of knowledge they had, but I was constantly told, ‘I should feel lucky that I was chosen.’ WHAT? Please, if you are going to adopt, please think about the trauma caused by interracial adoptions. Learn the child’s culture before. Teach the child about culture. Realize how difficult it is for the child to not look like you. Ask about trouble at school. And, if the child is able to open up about problems they are having (there will always be problems, whether you are aware or not), please listen without judgment. Do not try to ‘figure out’ why things are so difficult for them or why they don’t want to be around people. If you cannot do that, do not adopt. You are not ready and will cause more trauma. Why is the focus on adoptive parents as saviors? How about focusing on the adoptee being a survivor? There is so much more I could say about being a Black child adopted by a white family. Problems in school, accusations of bad behavior, continuous observation of preferential treatment of white biological siblings. I wish I could find a support group!” 

—Anonymous