At 40, I Still Wasn't Married. Here’s Why I’m Glad I Waited.

Our relationship felt easy, but after a year of dating, we broke up when he revealed he wasn’t interested in marriage, something that was now important to me. At 40, with my window for having children beginning to close, I understood that I might not become a mother. But for me, having a trusted and loving partner was always a prerequisite for having children. I also knew that if either of those things had been my priority, I would have pursued them earlier. The truth was, I wasn’t ready to be a wife or a parent until moving out west.

The end of that relationship marked a pivotal moment of maturity for me — not just in how I viewed my own choices, but in how I understood the choices of the friends who had settled down before me. As I confided in close friends about my life out west, they shared more intimate details about their marriages and offered advice based on their experiences. 

I discovered that marriages I once revered had layers of complexity and hardship I had never known about. One friend confided that, after a decade of marriage, their love had become more akin to a friendship. Another reflected that even after two children, she still wondered if she had made the right choice. Even my friends with the happiest marriages had moments of doubt and intense compromise. The illusion of perfection I held in my youth faded, replaced by the reality of their challenges with marriage, raising children and navigating family dynamics.

At the same time, the dating pool consisted of divorced men who reflected on the lessons they had learned. What resonated most for me was the universality of their experiences. It was clear that everyone was always working through lessons in life and love, regardless of their relationship status. All we can do is make the best decision for ourselves, moment by moment. Ultimately, they showed me that the true beauty of partnership wasn’t just in being married; it was in being married to the right person. I’m still glad I waited to make that decision.

Every invitation in my overflowing box holds more than just memories; each one reflects the evolving journey of love, growth and self-trust for every person and couple it represents. To me, the greatest invitation is to embrace life at our own pace, on our own terms, with curiosity and courage — trusting that the path we choose holds meaning just as profound as the one we leave behind. The only timeline we can truly follow is our own, with each decision and moment shaping the story we are meant to live. 

Jillian Sanders is a writer and the founder of Jillian Sanders Public Relations, LLC, a full-service lifestyle PR firm based in Denver, Colorado, serving clients nationwide  She is currently working on her first book, which explores the complexities of love, friendship, and relationships — romantic, platonic, and familial. Her writing delves into the messy, beautiful ways we connect with one another, and ourselves. Connect with her on Instagram @jilliansanderspr  or visit her website at www.jilliansanderswrites.com.

This article originally appeared on HuffPost.