1.
The person who got the one notification you never want to see:
2.
The person whose home has a very distinct scent now, I’m sure:
3.
The person who might just want to run into the woods, never to return:
4.
The person with the best seat in the house:
5.
The person who loves their kids very much, I’m sure:
6.
The person who got the Michael Scott Special in their hotel room:
7.
The person who cooked their chicken well-done:
8.
The people who immortalized a tender moment:
9.
The person who might want to hire an expert next time:
10.
The person whose house got a stake through the heart:
11.
The person who definitively showed us once and for all what that one part of a unicorn looks like:
12.
The person who is for sure on great terms with their neighbor:
13.
The person whose ratatouille became a sadatouille:
14.
The person who is apparently living in either Phoenix, Arizona or Hell:
15.
The person who got straight-up gooped up:
16.
The person who will be playing 52 card pick-up for a long, long time:
17.
The person who is about to put on the show of a lifetime for the patrons of the Terminal 5 airport bathroom:
18.
The person who picked the perfect spot:
19.
The person who will never, ever be a professional chef:
20.
The person who is now more bonded with their pet than they ever expected:
21.
The person who cooked their knife just like ma used to:
22.
The person who got a little extra crunch in their ‘rika:
23.
The person whose sunglasses shall gaze upon that big ball of fire in the sky no more:
24.
The person whose burrito had that familiar green hue we all know and love:
25.
The person who learned a valuable lesson about windows and fingers:
26.
The person whose graham cracker contained a special surprise:
27.
The person whose floor is drinkin’ good tonight:
28.
The person who will never be so flippant with the burners again:
29.
The person who will be going to AppleCare with a very interesting story:
30.
The person who will regret the last five minutes for the rest of their life:
31.
The person who just got assigned the world’s worst work email:
32.
The person who suffered a tragedy deeper than what most human beings will ever encounter:
33.
The person who got some nice and slippery crackers:
34.
The person who is sitting in front of Nosferatu:
35.
The person whose sink sank silently into sorrow:
36.
The person who got the shock of a lifetime:
37.
The person who created a new life-form in their kitchen:
38.
The person who will be itchy for the rest of their days:
39.
The person who is pioneering a new tanning style:
40.
The person whose lunch is about to be EXTRA spicy:
41.
The proud owner of a brand new freckle:
42.
The person who knows exactly how bad a surprise is waiting for them:
43.
The person whose morning coffee had an extra-special ingredient:
44.
The person whose bed was absolutely desecrated:
45.
The person with the wrinkliest hands around:
46.
The person who loves their dog very much, I’m sure:
47.
The person who just all but ensured their bathroom becomes haunted:
48.
The person who likes their coffee extra cheesy:
49.
The person who will never not double check their car for spray cans after this:
50.
And the person who just made enemies with a fly for the rest of their days:
