I’ve been on kind of a weird kick here at BuzzFeed, writing post after post about people — both regular folks and celebrities — who died in ways NONE of us would want to die. If the death was embarrassing, nightmarish, scandalous, horrifying, disturbing, or even darkly funny, I’ve covered it.
Today — maybe to help me get past this dark period of my life, LOL — I’ve compiled the most unforgettable of these stories in one place…along with a few equally unsettling new ones. Check ’em out (if you dare):
1.
Garry Hoy, a lawyer in Toronto, was known for his confidence in the structural integrity of his office building’s windows. On July 9, 1993, while giving a tour to a group of students, Hoy attempted to demonstrate the unbreakable nature of the floor-to-ceiling glass by throwing himself against it — a stunt he had successfully performed numerous times before. Tragically, during this demonstration, the window frame gave way, and both Hoy and the glass pane plummeted from the 24th floor, leading to his immediate death upon impact. The structural engineer Bob Greer commented on the incident, stating, “I don’t know of any building code in the world that would allow a 160-pound man to run up against a glass window and withstand it.”
2.
In 1979, 70-year-old Nelson Rockefeller — both the former vice president of the United States and a member of the ridiculously rich Rockefeller dynasty — reportedly suffered a fatal heart attack at his desk in his Fifth Avenue townhouse. I say “reportedly” because it was soon pointed out that his desk was in a totally different house and that his 25-year-old assistant, Megan Marshack, had waited an hour before calling for an ambulance. Oh, and she called a friend first. Hmm. Eventually, the truth came out: Rockefeller had keeled over while vigorously cheating on his wife with Marshack…in his private apartment.
3.
In the early 1900s, Paris-based tailor Franz Reichelt claimed to have invented a wearable parachute. He believed in his invention so much, in fact, that he sought to test it by leaping off the Eiffel Tower. On February 4, 1912 — despite prior tests with dummies yielding unsuccessful results and warnings from his friends not to be a dummy himself — Reichelt lept off the Tower’s first platform wearing his parachute suit. The parachute failed to deploy, and he plummeted nearly 200 feet to his death. The entire episode was filmed, and it’s believed to be the first death caught on camera.
4.
In 2009, John Edward Jones, a 26-year-old medical student and dad to a baby girl (with another on the way), went spelunking in Utah’s Nutty Putty Cave, a system known for its narrow, twisting tunnels. He’d caved as a kid, but this time — while searching for a particularly tight section called the Birth Canal — he made a catastrophic mistake. He entered a shaft headfirst, thinking it led to a wider passage. It didn’t. It was a dead-end chute, only 10 inches wide. And he was now completely stuck. For 28 hours, rescue crews tried everything to get him out, but the angle was so steep and his position so precarious that nothing worked. Rescuers talked to him the whole time, trying to keep him calm, but after more than a day upside down, his body gave out and Jones died from cardiac arrest. They were never able to remove his body. Authorities later sealed Nutty Putty Cave permanently, entombing Jones where he died.
5.
74-year-old Italian cheesemonger Giacomo Chiapparini was killed by his own massive stash of cheese. The accident happened in August 2023 inside his warehouse near Bergamo, where he stored roughly 25,000 wheels of Grana Padano — each weighing around 40kg (90 lbs). That’s over 2 million pounds of hard cheese. On the night of the incident, Chiapparini reportedly used a machine to rotate the cheese wheels — a standard practice for aging — but something triggered a chain reaction, causing an entire aisle of shelving to collapse. Like a domino effect, the shelves toppled in sequence, burying him under an avalanche of Parmesan-style wheels. It took rescuers more than 12 hours to dig through the cheesy mountain and recover his body. Imagine surviving decades running a successful cheese business only to be taken out by your own product.
6.
Félix Faure was the president of France from 1895 to 1899, a man known for his charm and diplomacy. Um, okay, you might be thinking, Why the hell am I reading about a 19th-century French politician on BuzzFeed? Here’s why: On Feb. 16, 1899, the 58-year-old president invited his mistress Marguerite Steinheil (who was exactly half his age), to the Élysée Palace for an afternoon — ahem — meeting. It’s believed Steinheil was performing oral sex on Faure in his presidential office (shades of the Clinton years) when he suffered a massive stroke. According to palace staff, Steinheil screamed for help, and the president was found in a highly compromising position — some even claim he died mid-orgasm, pants around his ankles. Rumors soon spread and the public nicknamed Steinheil “La Pompe Funèbre” — a dirty pun roughly translating to “the funeral pump.” Yikes.
7.
This death wasn’t so out of the ordinary, but what happened afterward sure was. In 1928, Charles “Speedy” Atkins died after drowning in the Ohio River. His friend A.Z. Hamock, a mortician, decided to test out a homemade embalming formula that worked a little too well: Speedy’s body became perfectly preserved — like a mummy. Hamock was so tickled by the results that he didn’t bury his friend. Instead, he kept the body on display in the funeral home. Over the years, thousands of people viewed the body, and Speedy became a local legend — even appearing in parades (dafug?). After Hamock died in the ’60s, the body remained at the funeral home until 1994, when its owners decided to give Speedy a proper burial — partly because of increasing public scrutiny about the ethics of keeping a corpse for so long. The service drew over 200 mourners, and Speedy was finally laid to rest as a man — not a curiosity.
8.
Roman Emperor Valerian was the first Roman emperor to be taken captive in battle — by the Persian emperor Shapur I after the Battle of Edessa — and things only got worse from there. It’s believed that during his captivity, Valerian was forced to suffer incredibly humiliating indignities, including being used as a human footstool by Shapur. Eventually, Valerian was killed, his body was flayed, and his skin was displayed as a trophy. Damn.
9.
On Sept. 14, 1927, Isadora Duncan — a revolutionary dancer often called the “Mother of Modern Dance” — died in a freak accident that no one could have imagined. Known for her love of long, flowing scarves, she was preparing to go for a drive in a convertible. As she excitedly waved goodbye to friends, she threw a scarf around her neck — a decision that would prove fatal. As the car sped off, her scarf got caught in the rear wheel axle, yanking her violently from the vehicle. She was dragged and instantly strangled, dying in a matter of seconds. Her friends could only watch in horror.
10.
In one of the most disturbing consensual acts ever recorded, Armin Meiwes posted an online ad looking for a “young well-built man who wanted to be eaten,” and got a response from Bernd Jürgen Brandes, a 43-year-old engineer from Berlin. (How did his ad get a response? I can’t even get anyone to reply to my ad trying to unload my old dresser for free!) The two met on March 9, 2001, at Meiwes’s home. The evening began with Meiwes (consensually!!!) attempting to sever Brandes’s penis for them to eat together (yum?), but the endeavor proved more challenging than anticipated. After several attempts, they managed to remove the organ, which they tried in vain to eat both raw (too chewy) and cooked (they burnt it). They ultimately fed the severed penis to Meiwes’s dog. (Imagine cutting off your penis to eat only for it to become dog food!)
11.
In 2019, 47-year-old Paul McDonald of Victoria, Australia, was gored to death by his own pet deer. Paul had kept the deer on his property for several years, treating it like a beloved member of the family. The attack happened during the rutting season — aka deer mating time — when male deer are known to become incredibly aggressive. Here’s how it went down: When McDonald entered the pen to feed the animal, the deer violently mauled him, prompting his wife, Mandi, to run in and try and save him. She ended up seriously injured herself but escaped with her life when the couple’s teenage son smashed the deer with a lump of wood. Sadly, it was too late for Paul. First responders shot the deer on the spot. Wildlife experts weighed in, warning people that no matter how cute deer are, they aren’t meant to be domesticated. They’re strong, they’re territorial, and once a year, they go completely feral.
12.
Cardinal Jean Daniélou, a respected French theologian, Jesuit scholar, and rumored future pope, was found dead of a heart attack in 1974. But not just anywhere. He died in the Paris home of a sex worker, with lots of money in his pocket. The church first claimed he died on the street, then revised their story to say he died at the sex worker’s home with money so she could bail her husband out of jail. Uh-huh. The priesthood scrambled to contain the scandal, and his supporters noted he was known to advocate for marginalized communities. Still, skeptics weren’t buying it. Was he visiting her for humanitarian reasons? Or for something a bit more…hands-on? We’ll never know. (But we know.)
13.
In 1983, Michael Anderson Godwin was convicted of raping and murdering a 24-year-old woman and sentenced to death by electric chair, but his conviction was later overturned on appeal, and he received a life sentence instead. Quite the break for Godwin (assuming he liked breathing and not having 2,000+ volts of electricity pumped through his body). However, six years later, Godwin made the mistake of trying to repair a pair of earphones connected to his television. Seated naked on the metal toilet in his cell, Godwin bit into a live wire to fix the device — and accidentally electrocuted himself. How’s that for irony? After having escaped the electric chair, Godwin couldn’t escape the, shall we say, electric toilet.
14.
British daredevil Bobby Leach became famous in 1911 as the second person to survive a plunge over Niagara Falls in a barrel. The stunt left him significantly injured, but he recovered. Years later, while on a publicity tour in New Zealand in 1926, Leach slipped on an orange peel and fractured leg. Gangrene set in, and the leg needed to be amputated. Complications from the surgery ensued, and he ultimately succumbed to his injuries. How’s that for the unpredictability of life and death? The man survives one of the most dangerous stunts possible, then dies because of an orange peel.
15.
Sir Billy Snedden was a significant figure in Australian politics, leading the Liberal Party from 1972 to 1975 and even earning a knighthood. His absolutely bonkers death, though, overshadowed everything else. Let’s set the scene: It was 1987, and a 60-year-old Snedden checked into a motel in Sydney with a very young woman…who also happened to be his son’s ex-girlfriend! That’s already messy enough. But then Billy died during intercourse. The woman fled the scene and called emergency services, who discovered Snedden naked in bed and still wearing a condom. If you know anything about Australians, you know they weren’t about to let this go without taking the piss. One newspaper ran the headline: “Snedden Died on the Job.” Another said: “Snedden’s Final Position.”
16.
In March 2023, American Patrick McGuire, 67, checked into a charming little hotel in the Scottish Highlands for what he thought would be the vacation of a lifetime — but ended up dying. At 10:30 p.m., McGuire went outside and sat on a bench to smoke a cigarette. Unfortunately, the bench — which was made of metal weighing 168 pounds and not secured properly — sunk into the grass and flipped over atop him. Unable to free himself and with no one nearby to hear him, he suffocated under the weight. When he didn’t return to his room, his wife went to look for him and discovered his body. Sheriff Gary Aitken called it a “tragedy” and said, “No one goes on holiday expecting not to come back.” The hotel was fined, and all of its metal benches were replaced with wooden ones secured by cement. Ugh.
17.
During the Civil War — on May 9, 1864 — Union General John Sedgwick’s troops were under fire from Confederate sharpshooters. Observing his men seeking cover, Sedgwick, confident in their safety, reportedly declared, “They couldn’t hit an elephant at this distance.” Almost immediately, a bullet struck Sedgwick under the left eye, killing him. If I’m ever in a situation like that, I will say something different, like, “They couldn’t deliver us a gift basket of freshly baked cookies at this distance.”
18.
Martha Mansfield was a beautiful young rising silent film star who was filming The Warrens of Virginia in San Antonio, Texas, on Nov. 29, 1923, when she died in one of the most bizarre on-set accidents in Hollywood history. She was still in costume during a break — wearing a long, elaborate hoop-skirted gown — when she sat in a car to relax. Of course, almost everyone smoked back then, and when a crew member lit up and tossed the match, it accidentally ended up in the car where, in seconds, the highly flammable fabric of Mansfield’s costume turned into a fireball. Her costar, Wilfred Lytell, desperately tried to save her, throwing his coat over her to smother the flames, but the damage was done — she suffered horrific burns over her body. Mansfield was rushed to the hospital but died the next day. She was just 24 years old.
19.
David Carradine was a Hollywood icon best known for his role as Kwai Chang Caine in the 1970s TV series Kung Fu and later as the sinister Bill in Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill films. In June 2009, shocking news broke: He was found dead in a Bangkok hotel room. At first, reports claimed it was a suicide, but things quickly took a bizarre turn. He was found naked, hanging in a closet, with a rope tied around his neck, wrists, and genitals. Soon, speculation spread — was this an accident, an intentional act, or something even more sinister? In the end, authorities ruled his death as accidental asphyxiation, likely due to autoerotic asphyxiation (basically a risky, reckless, and frankly dumb sexual practice where a person strangles themselves while masturbating to increase arousal).
20.
In 1871, Clement Vallandigham, a famous American lawyer known for his dramatic courtroom demonstrations, was defending a client accused of murder. To illustrate his theory that the deceased had accidentally shot himself, Vallandigham brought a similar firearm into the courtroom and, while demonstrating what he thought happened, inadvertently discharged the weapon, killing himself. Tragic, yes, but there was a bright side to this. Vallandigham’s demonstration was so convincing that it introduced reasonable doubt, and his client was acquitted.
21.
Renowned detective Allan Pinkerton faced a lot of danger in his line of work, but he met his demise in a shockingly simple way. In 1884, while walking on a sidewalk in Chicago, he slipped and bit his tongue severely. Pinkerton neglected to seek immediate medical attention (you’d think a detective would have picked up on the clue that the immense pain meant he needed help), and the wound became infected, leading to gangrene. He died from infection on July 1, 1884.
22.
Michael Hutchence was the lead singer of the Australian rock band INXS, which was best known in the USA for their #1 hit “Need You Tonight.” In 1997, the 37-year-old was found dead in a Sydney hotel room under mysterious circumstances. Here’s what we do know: Hutchence was found naked, kneeling on the floor, with a leather belt tied around his neck and attached to the door. It was ruled that he died by suicide, but almost instantly, people had questions. Why the nudity? Why the specific positioning? Why the belt? Some suggested Hutchence had died during autoerotic asphyxiation, as David Carradine had. His family pushed back, saying he had been depressed over custody issues with then-girlfriend Paula Yates. Still, police found no suicide note, and there were no drugs found, just alcohol and a couple mild prescription meds.
23.
Death by cactus shouldn’t be an actual way you can go, but sadly, at least for one Arizona man, it was. In 1982, David Grundman decided to go “cactus plugging” — aka, shooting giant saguaro cacti (which can reach heights of 60 feet and weigh as much as 16,000 pounds) for fun. So, Grundman and his roommate took a shotgun into the desert near Lake Pleasant and started blasting away. Grundman shot a 26-foot-tall saguaro, which had stood there for possibly a century. What he didn’t expect was that one of the cactus’s massive arms — reportedly weighing hundreds of pounds — would snap off and fall on him, crushing him to death.
24.
We like to think we’re safe in our own homes, but that’s not always the case. In 2004, 51-year-old Englishman Ronald McClagish had recently separated from his girlfriend and was living alone. When neighbors hadn’t seen him for over a week, they called the police to check in. What they found was straight out of a horror film: McClagish was dead — with his feet sticking out of a bedroom cupboard — while water poured into the room. Investigators soon pieced together what happened. Ronald was believed to be cleaning the cupboard when the adjacent wardrobe tipped and fell, blocking the cupboard door shut and trapping him inside. With no way to escape, McClagish tried to claw his way out. When that didn’t work, he tore a pipe from the wall — likely to use as leverage or a tool — but it flooded the cupboard, soaking him continuously.
25.
In 955, thanks to powerful family connections, Pope John XII was elected pope at just 18 years old — and he acted like a modern 18-year-old frat boy, treating the Vatican like his personal frat house, complete with gambling, drinking, and orgies. The party came to an end in 964 when the 27-year-old pope was caught in bed with a married woman, and her husband beat the horny “religious” figure to death. Since this tea is over 1,000 years old, there’s some uncertainty about whether the angry hubby story is true (another account says John XII had a fatal stroke mid-coitus). The church tried to clean up the story, but it was too juicy to bury. Some priests even argued his entire papacy was illegitimate due to his immoral lifestyle.
26.
Legendary magician Harry Houdini was renowned for escaping anything — handcuffs, locked tanks, even being buried alive. But his actual death was both bizarre and embarrassingly simple for a man who built his legend on intrigue. In 1926, a college student asked if Houdini could take a punch to the stomach. Houdini, being Houdini, said yes. But the student didn’t wait — he sucker-punched Houdini before he could brace himself. The problem? Houdini already had appendicitis, and the blow ruptured his appendix, leading to a deadly infection. But being the world’s toughest man, he kept performing for days, ignoring the excruciating pain. Finally, on Halloween of that year, Houdini died at 52.
27.
In 2010, 19-year-old Australian Sam Ballard was hanging out with some friends when a slug crawled across their path. Ballard’s friends dared him to eat it, and without much hesitation, Sam swallowed the slug. A few days later, Sam began experiencing severe pain in his legs, so his mom took him to the hospital. Tests revealed that Sam had contracted rat lungworm disease, a rare infection caused by a parasite commonly found in rodents but capable of infecting slugs and snails that come into contact with rat feces. The parasite caused eosinophilic meningoencephalitis, leading to inflammation of Ballard’s brain and spinal cord. Sam fell into a coma that lasted 420 days. When he awoke, he could not move his limbs and required constant care. His once-active life was irrevocably changed, and he faced numerous health challenges until — eight years later — he passed away at 28.
28.
How’s this for dystopian? In 2008, 50-year-old David Phyall was the last remaining resident of a condemned apartment complex in Bishopstoke, England. The building was being cleared for redevelopment, and despite 11 offers of alternative housing, he refused to leave. Why? He believed the government was forcibly uprooting people who had nowhere else to go. So, to make a statement, Phyall staged one of the most extreme acts of protest imaginable: He used an electric chainsaw to decapitate himself. He tied the chainsaw to a table leg, duct-taped the trigger down, and set a timer so the blade would start once he lay down. And it worked. Emergency responders found the saw still humming next to Phyall’s decapitated head when they arrived, with blood spattering the walls, floor, and a cabinet.
29.
Henry John Temple (known as Lord Palmerston) was prime minister of the UK and one of Victorian Britain’s most influential politicians when he died at 80 in October 1865. The official report said that he passed peacefully from a fever, but Victorian gossip circles told a much spicier story. According to longstanding rumors, Palmerston, known for his still-robust libido even in old age, was in the middle of a sexual encounter with a much younger domestic servant…on top of a billiard table…when his heart gave out, and he collapsed mid-act. Historians debate the truth of the tale. It’s hard to verify — and even harder to deny — given Palmerston’s known womanizing. He married late in life but was said to have maintained a healthy interest in extramarital recreation long after. And really? I bet ol’ Palmy would want us to think he went out like the salty old dog he was, not because of a wimpy fever.
30.
In 2007, a Sacramento radio station hosted a contest dubbed “Hold Your Wee for a Wii,” where participants were challenged to drink a crapload of water without urinating. The prize? A Nintendo Wii. Contestant Jennifer Strange, 28, hoped to win the console for her kids. After chugging nearly two gallons of water (and coming in second), she began experiencing severe headaches and nausea — symptoms of water intoxication, or hyponatremia, where excessive water dilutes essential electrolytes in the body. Tragically, just hours after returning home, she was found dead. The incident sparked outrage and led to a wrongful death lawsuit against the radio station. A recording of the show revealed the DJs joked about people dying from water intoxication, even discussing a case two years earlier where a student died after drinking too much water for a fraternity stunt. A jury awarded Strange’s family $16.5 million in damages.
31.
In 1979, 25-year-old Robert Williams was working at a Ford Motor Company plant in Flat Rock, Michigan, when he became the first person ever killed by a robot. He was retrieving parts from a high shelf when the factory’s one-ton robotic arm suddenly activated. The machine didn’t have sensors to detect human presence — this was still the early age of automation — and it swung around, striking Williams in the head and killing him instantly. He was found dead 30 minutes later, draped over a shelf. The robot had been operating without any clear safety override, and Williams’s family later won a $10-million lawsuit. An interesting story for us to all know, considering our likely deaths in the upcoming AI/robot wars vs. humanity.
32.
In October of 1601, prominent Danish astronomer Tycho Brahe attended a formal banquet in Prague, which, I’m assuming, had quite the assortment of libations. Brahe was a stickler for courtly etiquette — which dictated that leaving the table before the host was considered impolite — so he remained seated despite desperately needing to relieve himself. This led to a bladder ailment, believed to be a ruptured bladder or uremia, which proved fatal eleven days later. So, go when you gotta go, folks! (Interestingly, a DNA study of one of his hairs suggests another possible cause of death — mercury poisoning.)
33.
Back in the ’80s, Jon-Erik Hexum was a rising star in Hollywood with model good looks and undeniable charisma. But in October 1984, his promising career — and, more importantly, life — ended in the most shocking way possible. During a break on the Cover Up set, Hexum jokingly put a prop .44 Magnum to his temple and pulled the trigger, unaware that even blanks can be deadly at close range. The force of the gunpowder blast fractured his skull and sent bone fragments into his brain, causing massive hemorrhaging. He was rushed to the hospital and underwent emergency surgery, but the damage was irreversible. After six days in a coma, he was declared brain dead on Oct. 18, 1984, at just 26 years old.
34.
This might be the freakiest one on the list because it feels like something that could happen to a dumbass like me. Author Sherwood Anderson (known for the short story collection Winesburg, Ohio) was on a cruise to South America in March of 1941 when he decided to unwind with a martini. Somehow, he managed to accidentally swallow the toothpick that speared the drink’s olive, and soon began experiencing severe abdominal pain. The captain stopped the cruise in Colón, Panama so that Anderson could be hospitalized, and doctors discovered he had peritonitis — a life-threatening inflammation of the abdominal lining. The cause? The toothpick, which had perforated his intestines, leading to infection. He died March 8, 1941.
35.
In 1974, Basil Brown, a 48-year-old health advocate from Croydon, England, was a big believer in the benefits of natural foods and supplements. So, in his quest for optimal health, Brown began drinking massive amounts of carrot juice, reportedly downing up to 10 gallons over 10 days. He also ingested high doses of vitamin A supplements, far exceeding the recommended daily allowance. Unbeknownst to him, the excessive intake of vitamin A led to hypervitaminosis A, a condition characterized by toxic levels of the vitamin in the body, which caused severe liver damage, turned his skin yellow-orange, and killed him. Brown’s sudden death puzzled those around him, but an autopsy revealed just how much the toxic levels of vitamin A had destroyed his liver.
36.
Movie star David Niven’s first wife, Primula “Primmie” Rollo, met a tragic and freakish end on May 21, 1946. Primmie and Niven were attending a party at actor Tyrone Power’s house when the guests decided to play Sardines, a variation of hide-and-seek. Looking for a place to hide in the dimly lit house, Primmie stepped into what she thought was a closet — but it was actually an open trapdoor leading to a stone staircase. Primmie fell down the stairs and suffered a severe skull fracture. Despite being rushed to the hospital, she died the next day at just 28 years old. The sudden and bizarre accident devastated Niven, who blamed himself for bringing her to Hollywood in the first place. Her tragic death haunted him for the rest of his life, and he later admitted that he never truly got over losing her.
37.
In 2022, Aaron Henderson, a 40-year-old father of three, was at his job at a landfill in Florida, where he directed dump truck traffic (among other tasks). As the workday ended, he slipped into a portable toilet on-site to relieve himself. At the same time, a co-worker operating a bulldozer was trying to park it for the evening. Due to the elevated position of the bulldozer’s blade — raised approximately 3 to 4 feet off the ground — the operator’s forward view was obstructed, and he didn’t see the portable toilet. Horribly, he drove over the portable toilet, crushing Henderson inside. Emergency responders raced to help…but Henderson was pronounced dead at the scene.
38.
King Pyrrhus of Epirus was known for his military campaigns against Rome (giving rise to the term “Pyrrhic victory”), but he met an unforeseen demise in 272 BC. During a street battle in Argos, as he engaged in combat, an elderly woman threw a roof tile from a rooftop that smacked Pyrrhus right atop his head. No, he didn’t die from being hit by a roof tile — but when he looked up to see where it came from, he was stunned by an enemy soldier who fatally stabbed him. Sounds like, in the game of life, Pyrrhus lost the battle AND the war.
39.
In 1872, a London-based man named Henry Taylor was acting as a pallbearer during a funeral procession when he fell victim to a grim twist of fate that no one saw coming. While helping to carry the heavy wooden coffin through a crowded cemetery, Taylor tripped over a gravestone. He stumbled, lost his grip, and the coffin — containing the body of a recently deceased woman — slipped and crashed down directly onto him. The impact was so severe it caused fatal internal injuries. Henry Taylor died right there in the cemetery, crushed by the very coffin he was helping transport. Yes, he literally died at a funeral. An inquest into the happening was organized, and the jury determined it was an “accidental death,” and recommended that straps be placed round coffins to prevent more accidents like this from occurring.
40.
This might sound like something out of a Final Destination movie, but tragically, it’s very real. In 2007, 24-year-old Humberto Hernández was walking down the sidewalk with his wife in Oakland, California, when an SUV lost control and slammed into a fire hydrant. The impact ripped the 200-pound hydrant clean out of the ground, launching it into the air like a missile. In a freak and horrifying stroke of bad luck, the cast-iron projectile struck Hernández in the back of the head, killing him instantly. Adding another tragic layer: His wife witnessed the entire thing. Motorcycle Officer Eddie Bermudez, who investigated the death, said it was “a million-to-one chance” and that if Hernández had been one step forward or one step back he wouldn’t have been hit.
41.
Athenian lawgiver Draco (whose name gave us the word “draconian”) is remembered for imposing brutal laws. Steal a cabbage? Death penalty. Fall asleep in temple? Also death. But the way he died was the total opposite of harsh justice — he was literally smothered by love. According to legend, Draco was appearing in a theater in Aegina to a rapturous reception. The crowd wanted to show their appreciation — and in ancient Greece, the way you honored someone wasn’t with applause or roses but by throwing your hats, cloaks, and tunics at them. Problem is, they overdid it. The garments piled up on top of Draco — and he suffocated underneath the weight. The lawmaker who codified one of the harshest legal systems in history was killed not by an assassin or political rival…but by a crapload of clothes.
42.
Ever heard of “death by beard”? It happened to Hans Steininger, a 16th-century Austrian mayor famous for having a long beard. His beard was so long, in fact, that it could be stretched out to nearly five feet, and he typically kept it rolled up in a leather pouch. (RIP Hans, but you were a weird dude.) On September 28, 1567, a big fire broke out in his town. In the panic, Steininger forgot to secure his beard in his little leather pouch, and while running around trying to help the situation, he tripped over his beard, fell down a flight of stairs, broke his neck, and died. (That’s not Steininger below; it’s an early 19th-century man named Zach T. Wilcox who once held the record for the world’s longest beard, but Steininger’s beard probably looked like this one.)
43.
What the heck…while we’re on the subject of long beards, take a look at this wild photo. It’s of Hans Lang, who holds the Guinness World Record for the longest natural beard for a male — his beard measured 17.6 ft long! For the record, he died naturally at age 81 of non-beard-related causes.
44.
Adolf Frederick, the King of Sweden, was infamous for his over-the-top eating. On February 12, 1771, the king (who in another life would have been a famous Mukbang streamer) partook in an extravagant meal comprising lobster, caviar, sauerkraut, smoked herring, and champagne. The feast culminated with 14 servings of his favored dessert, semla, a sweet roll served in hot milk. In case you sped over that last sentence, let me repeat: HE HAD 14 SERVINGS OF DESSERT!!! This pig-out session led to severe digestive complications (shocker), resulting in his death. He is now often referred to in history books as “The King Who Ate Himself to Death.“
45.
Actor Anton Yelchin was a child star turned adult star who was most famous for playing Chekov in the three most recent Star Trek films. Horrifically, on June 18, 2016, the 27-year-old Yelchin left his Jeep Cherokee parked on an incline and went to check his mailbox. The Jeep rolled down the incline, trapping him against a pillar and security gate. He died from blunt traumatic asphyxia. The model of Jeep Yelchin owned was in the process of being recalled at the time of his death due to a confusing gear selector design that made it easy to confuse “neutral” with “park.” His family sued Fiat Chrysler and later reached an out-of-court settlement.
46.
Around 206 BC (as the story goes), ancient Greek philosopher Chrysippus of Soli saw a donkey eating figs and joked that someone should give the animal wine to wash them down. This may not have been the funniest joke ever told, but Chrysippus sure acted like it was, bursting into uncontrollable laughter. He laughed so hard, in fact, that he collapsed and died! If laughing to death isn’t embarrassing enough, to this day, people are going, “He died from that joke? THAT JOKE?!.”
47.
Legendary Australian cricketer Shane Warne died in March 2022 from a massive heart attack while on a lads’ weekend in Thailand, and the circumstances surrounding his death sparked a whole lot of whispers. Paramedics reportedly discovered in his room three types of sex-enhancing drugs — including Viagra and Kamagra, a super-strength sex drug known as “Viagra jelly” — and CCTV footage revealed that two massage therapists (“massage therapists”) had left his room shortly before he was found unresponsive. Whether or not the sex-enhancing medications contributed to his death, it’s important to know they carry warnings for individuals with heart conditions (like Warne) and should be used responsibly. Warne was 52.
48.
Movie and TV director Boris Sagal was best known for helming 1971’s The Omega Man starring Charlton Heston (and later for being the dad of actor Katey Sagal from Married… with Children and Sons of Anarchy). But while directing the NBC miniseries World War III, he stepped off a helicopter and somehow walked directly into the aircraft’s spinning tail rotor. The impact nearly decapitated him, causing catastrophic injuries. He was rushed to a hospital, but there was no saving him. He died five hours later at age 57. The circumstances of his death baffled many. How could such an experienced director — used to working around complex, dangerous sets — make such a fatal mistake?
49.
According to legend, Aeschylus — the father of tragedy in ancient Greek theater — died because an eagle, mistaking his bald head for a rock suitable for shattering tortoise shells, dropped a damn tortoise on him, resulting in a fatal injury! For Aeschylus’ sake, I hope this is just legend and not true because, “Ouch!” (Sounds like how someone would die in Super Mario Bros., huh?)
50.
And lastly, about 2,500 years ago, Empedocles, a philosopher from Sicily famed for his theories on the four classical elements, supposedly died in a way I wouldn’t put past some of our current world leaders. Legend has it that Empedocles leaped into the active volcano Mount Etna to prove he was divine, intending to reappear as an immortal being. And he did! He emerged as an eternal God and now lives in Akron, OH. Just kidding, he was burned alive by the molten lava. Well, folks, here’s hoping writing this hasn’t doomed me to my own absolutely ridiculous death, like dying taking a BuzzFeed quiz.
Related
Discover more from InstiWitty Media Studios
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
