1.
The person whose iPhone is nice ‘n’ slick now:
2.
The person who might want to grab the pliers:
3.
The person whose day went from 100 to 0 pretty dang fast:
4.
The person who got absolutely shafted by the, uh, elevator shaft:
5.
The person who learned a valuable lesson about wood chipping today:
6.
The person who found out the love of their life was AI:
7.
The person who, at the very least, has something to look forward to in 14 years:
8.
The person who got stuck in an elevator from the Hoover administration:
9.
The person who is going to cause a nation-wide Skittle shortage:
10.
The person whose toothbrush must now be laid to rest:
11.
The person who had to uncover this horrific sight:
12.
The person who just discovered a new life form in a carton of milk:
13.
The person who learned a hard lesson about cats:
14.
The person who finally got the in-ground pool they’ve always wanted:
15.
The person who learned a valuable lesson last week:
16.
The person who juuuuust might have a bee problem:
17.
The person who made a primate enemy for life:
18.
The person whose cake wasn’t exactly what they ordered:
19.
The person who might just want to procure one of those human-sized bubbles:
20.
The person whose instructions got taken very, very literally:
21.
The person whose dinner had a brilliant idea:
22.
The person who likes their board games nice and chilled:
23.
The person who straight up turned their AirPods to GOOP:
24.
The person who found a little friend in their bag of bread:
25.
The person whose pizza place is running a very interesting new promotion:
26.
The person who needs to get their dang ears checked:
27.
The person whose toothbrush just got some zesty seasoning:
28.
The person who made an avian enemy for life:
29.
The person who made a grave financial error:
Send this to a friend to show them everything can be way, way, way worse.
30.
The person whose helmet is now prime real estate:
31.
The person who loves their cat very much, I’m sure:
32.
The person who is definitely done ironing for the day:
33.
The person whose BBQ plans are now in SHAMBLES:
34.
The person who made a million tiny new friends:
35.
The person who got a different type of creamer in their coffee:
36.
The person whose barber went Moses-mode on their hair:
37.
The person who loves their neighbors very much, I’m sure:
38.
The person whose stairs got a nice, new, beautiful coat of paint:
39.
The person who maaaaay have stepped in a bit of mud:
40.
The person whose new door will always have a slight breeze:
41.
The person whose cake defies all logic and explanation:
42.
The person who’s going to be enjoying some delicious roasted knife tonight:
43.
The person who is about to write a whole thesis on spontaneous generation:
44.
The person whose corn lost the eternal battle:
45.
The person who will NEVER, ever play second fiddle to a cake again:
46.
The person who is a little too casual about an ANT being in their EYE:
47.
The person who had the UNTHINKABLE happen to them:
48.
The person whose car miiiight need some work:
49.
The person who will never pick up a pot all willy-nilly again:
50.
And the person who will never bring a whole-ass SHEPHERD’S PIE to bed again: