16.
“Truly sharing household and domestic tasks means doing them unprompted. I don’t want to have to ask you to tidy up, answer questions if it’s your turn to cook, constantly manage social calendars, and remind you of things. My brain needs a break, too, and taking initiative means a lot.”
“There’s no such thing as ‘helping’ a woman with housework. That presumes it’s primarily her responsibility and dominion. Nothing that is your equitable share is ‘helping.’ To that end, one eight-hour workday does not entitle you to a full-time maid, parent, household manager, cook, or all that. That is not equitable. One good way to determine whether a workload is split equitably is to look at downtime. If you have time to go to the gym every night, watch TV, and play video games after work, and she has almost zero downtime, the workload is not split equitably. In most cases, someone staying home works 12-16 hours (especially if there are kids). This means the person who leaves for their job every day must work a few hours at home outside of work for a fair split.”
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