34 Reasons Formerly Religious People Left The Church And Happily Never Looked Back

14.

“It was abusive, neglectful, and controlling. I was told I would be either institutionalized or shot if I ever mentioned being queer again after coming out to my mother at 14. She would constantly tell me I had the devil in me and claim my grandmother, who had bipolar disorder, was evil and also had the devil in her. I was taught that people of color were a different species and that white people were superior. Bible stories were used to justify hate, supremacy, racism, misogyny, and even spousal rape. The church was horrible to the low-income families that showed up, as well as anyone of a different color, and they would eventually be run off. We were taught by the church that the government ‘of man’ was not superior to God and that we were preparing for a bloody war against those possessed by the devil. Friends, family, and loved ones would be on opposite sides, and we would have to kill them to ‘save’ them. It was bananas.”

“I was not allowed to socialize outside of school or church. My parents were employed in the school system, so I never had a second of freedom. I was bullied endlessly at school for being weird. I regularly thought about suicide or harming others (bullies, mean teachers, coaches). I won’t even get into how weird the church and my parents were about sex. They wanted me to have babies and never saved a dime for me to go to college, despite my being at the top of my class. They allowed my boyfriend to sexually assault me in the family living room despite my pleas to please make him go home. Getting pregnant meant I’d have to stay home, and they wanted that. When I broke off the relationship, they blamed me. My mother sabotaged my college FAFSA and made sure I didn’t get into the college of my dreams. A counselor at school helped me with in-state when they realized what was happening, and I got several in-state scholarships. 

I managed to escape, and a dorm mother stepped up to help when she realized what was happening. My parents had thrown all my paperwork away and didn’t have me listed for move-in. The dorm mom found me a spot and helped me enroll that night. She saved my life. Even then, my parents would show up and demand I return home each weekend. They would drive an hour and a half to pick me up and force me to have a job every spare second of the weekend. They also forced me to call them every night at 10:00 p.m., or they called the cops. 

They still blame college for me being ‘liberal.’ At 21, I had a nervous breakdown and realized I was queer. I had suppressed it due to fear. Then, I started separating myself from my parents. I paid for college myself, made friends, found the love of my life, and left religion and them behind forever. I can breathe, I am happy, and I feel loved. While it is sad that they have chosen hate and God instead of me, I never regret leaving. Therapy is an ongoing help. You can escape. Religion is a tool to repress, control, and harm. You can be spiritual, find faith, or just do your own thing. You don’t need a community of people who harm you, judge you, and try to control you. You can find one that loves and accepts you as you are.”

—Anonymous