Well, well, well. It appears you clicked on a post that shows humanity in a negative light. WHICH IS TOTALLY FINE! These, honestly, are our most popular posts (no judgement, I like mess too).
I only bring this up because I’m doing an experiment. I posted two posts about moms — one dark and unhinged (this one) and one wholesome (this one) — at the EXACT SAME TIME! This way we will see based on clicks what BuzzFeed readers really want to read. So, if you hate wholesome posts and want BuzzFeed to spend more time on the dark side, share this post with a friend or post it online somewhere. I will do another version of whichever post gets the most traffic!
Let’s get to it! Prepare to shake your head:
1.
This mom is like a drug dealer from an ’80s movie, but instead of pushing drugs she’s pushing oils:
2.
This lady is seriously asking about getting her 2-year-old into working out:
3.
And look, another mom who thinks her baby is a genius:
4.
This mom said “I’m not against” the LGBTQ teacher, “but…”:
5.
What could the cause possibly be? What changed since his last check up? It’s a mystery I tell you!:
6.
And there is a lot going on here, I’ll just let you talk amongst yourselves:
7.
This mom wants people to back her up for not putting as seatbelt on her kid:
8.
Yeah, or maybe you’re just a bad person:
9.
And how did we make it all the way to #9 before getting to our first “BUT IS SHE VACCINATED?!?!?!?!”:
10.
I think you already know, ma’am:
11.
Damn, this is sad. He calls you “mama” and you’ve been in his life “quite a while,” but you still don’t get it?:
12.
And…TODDLERS DO NOT NEED CHIROPRACTORS!!!:
13.
This is a wild suggestion, I know — but if this lady feels uncomfortable breastfeeding her 5-year-old, how about she just says “no”?:
14.
It’s fine if you’re not up to homeschooling — JUST SEND ‘EM TO AN ACTUAL SCHOOL:
15.
And this one is so, so close to getting it:
16.
Yes, lady, more apps will solve the problem:
17.
This is called mortgage fraud, ma’am. It’s a felony:
18.
And it takes a village, but not according to this mom who’d rather her toddler walk out into the street, I guess:
19.
Am I missing something? It’s a show about a dog, right?:
20.
This husband needs to call a divorce lawyer STAT:
21.
And this mom just hands her baby to random people when she needs to go to the bathroom?!?!?!?:
22.
She won’t live a taxed life! Because without a social security number she’ll never be able to get a job!:
23.
Who are these people? Why do they want to do this to their kid?:
24.
And this mom seems to think her son is her husband:
25.
Wow, her husband must NEVER get colds:
26.
Parenting, amirite? No. No, you are not right:
27.
And, yeah, I think you should have concerns!:
28.
Here’s a new one — a mom worried her toddler doesn’t spend ENOUGH time on the iPad:
29.
Look! Another mom’s baby is a genius!:
30.
“I don’t want my son coming home saying he heard bad things about Trump”:
31.
And lastly, with some moms ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING causes autism:
Yes, Jennifer. I feel the same way.