We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the dumbest things they heard someone say. Here are their hysterical (and concerning) things they heard their friends and family say:
1.
“A relative, and her family, insisted the capital of Africa was Africa City.”
—Anonymous
2.
“I’m 14 and so is my friend, and one day after first period, I asked him how many more minutes we needed to wait before we could go to the gym. His response? ‘Well, we gotta wait like an hour and a half, so 130 minutes?'”
—Anonymous
3.
“I just went to The Wizard of Oz movie at the Sphere, and I was telling my 80-year-old mom how amazing it was and that they even had the flying monkeys flying around over the audience. She said, ‘Wow, you mean they had real flying monkeys?'”
—Anonymous
4.
“I was waiting in line at a grocery store when the woman behind me started up a conversation. ‘You just can’t trust anything on TV anymore.’ I took the bait and asked, ‘What do you mean?’ She replied, ‘Well, look at the major TV stations (ABC, NBC, and CBS). They all report fake news. It’s all scripted by Obama!’ When I asked what proof she had, she said, ‘The major news stations all report on the same things at the same time every night! Fox is the only one that gets to the real news.’ Huh?”
—Anonymous
5.
“I have a buddy who says ‘minus well’, which I can only guess he means ‘might as well’. Known him for over a decade, never corrected him.”
—Anonymous
6.
“I had a friend who thought Latino people spoke Latin.”
—Anonymous
7.
“My wife and I were living in Richmond, VA, when we first started dating. During a conversation, she stated that we lived in South America. When I asked her why she thought that, she said that because we live in the south, we must be in South America.”
—Anonymous
8.
“My sister once asked a rather dim girl at our high school if she had had a lobotomy. The girl responded, ‘No, I can still have kids.’”
—Anonymous
9.
“My family members went on a cruise to Mexico, and they shared their views of the cruise. I asked if they enjoyed Tulum and the Mayan artifacts. Their response was ‘Yeah, we saw some really old stuff, but they need to clean up the buildings since they were falling down.'”
—Anonymous
10.
“Went out to a chain Italian restaurant once evening and after being seated, the server asked, ‘Can I get you something to drink?’ I replied, I’d like some sparkling water, please,’ and she responded by asking, ‘You want the kind with bubbles or without?'”
—Anonymous
11.
“At the beginning of my senior year, the career counselor called me in to ask why I was still there. She explained I had 17 extra credits, and the school wouldn’t give me any more. So, I graduated early! My younger brother went to the counselor and demanded my 17 extra credits! He flunked out and got a GED.”
—Anonymous
12.
“One year, we were going on vacation. My son then asked where we were going. I told him we were going to London, England, and Rome, Italy…He then said, ‘I thought we were only going to two places, not four.’ I then asked him, What do they teach you in private school anyway?”
—Anonymous
13.
“We were eating Easter dinner, and brother’s ex said she didn’t want to see The Passion of the Christ because it was too violent and wanted to know if they would ever write a book about it.”
—Anonymous
14.
“My sister once asked my mom what time the 4:30 movie was.”
—Anonymous
15.
“A group of us were talking about football at work. My coworker asked how many quarters there are in a game. I replied, ‘The same number as those in a dollar.’”
—Anonymous
16.
“A friend on a camping trip said you can’t make fire by rubbing sticks together unless the sun is shining.”
—Anonymous
17.
“I am a high school teacher. I had a student once ask me if a pregnant woman was choking, would the baby come out of her mouth during abdominal thrust. Before I could stop myself, I asked if she was kidding. She was dead serious….yay our future.”
—Anonymous
18.
“Someone asked me, ‘Did Caesar really stay at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas?'”
—Anonymous
19.
“My friend just once told our 9th-grade geography teacher that the test was wrong because it had all the continents spread out instead of all fused together.”
—Anonymous
20.
“My ex-son-in-law thought you boiled eggs by putting them in a bowl in the fridge…and just letting them sit in the bowl overnight…uh, ok. This made for an awkward Easter when none of the eggs were ready for coloring…sigh. Maybe he’ll remarry someday soon.”
—Anonymous
21.
“I once had an 18-year-old girl ask me, ‘Is Santa Claus real?'”
—Anonymous
22.
“As a teenager in the early 1980s, I received a pen pal request from a 14-year-old American (I’m from the Caribbean). In her letter, she described her hobbies and asked, ‘In the U.S., we have this wonderful thing called television. Do you have that in the Caribbean?'”
—Anonymous
23.
“I had a friend who thought all cats were girls and all dogs were boys.”
—Anonymous
24.
“I was in 11th grade in Advanced English, and this girl in front of me turns one day and asks, ‘What’s a paragraph?’ Straight-faced, not as a joke, she meant it. I was floored and just answered before shaking my head when she turned back around.”
—Anonymous
25.
“Someone I knew once said, ‘I want to get a job, but I’m worried that Thanksgiving will fall on Black Friday and then I’ll have to work on Thanksgiving.’”
—Anonymous
26.
“A friend of my daughter said to her, ‘I’m not sure dinosaurs were real, like no one has ever seen pictures of them.'”
—Anonymous
27.
And finally, “After the 2016 US election, my supervisor thought that the results meant that Hilary Clinton would be VP because she came in ‘2nd place.’ I nearly spit out my coffee in laughter, only to realize she was dead serious.”
—Anonymous
What’s the dumbest thing someone you know said? Tell us in the comments or use the anonymous form below:
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