26 People Who Are Really, Really, Reallllly Glad They Listened To Their Gut Instincts

11.

“A few weeks before graduation, I was with my best friend at her school. We were outside some dumpy college bar, and this tall, good-looking, athletic guy started talking to us. Right off the bat, I hated him. I just had this awful feeling about him immediately. Something about him was slimy, dishonest, and felt like he was trying too hard. My friend, who was seeing someone else at the time, nevertheless seemed charmed. I have a terrible habit of being quick to judge strangers, so she probably didn’t think twice about my bad mouthing after he walked off. Anyway, graduation was a few weeks away, and I assumed we’d never see this guy again.”

“Fast forward a year. My friend moved to my city, and we shared a house together. It had been our plan since childhood. Things were great. Eventually, her relationship ended, and literally within a week, the guy from the college bar, let’s call him Chad, sent her flowers and a cookie cake, just being a ‘nice guy’ after her breakup. I thought this was creepy, overreaching, and chock full of ulterior motives, and I told her as much, but she thought it was sweet. 

They eventually began to date, though he lived four hours away. I tried to get to know Chad when he came to visit, but he was aloof, kind of ‘too cool’ for me, and not really interested in anything other than my friend. He stayed over a lot and did weird things, like showing up with his whole family (again, from four hours away) unannounced.

My friend didn’t want to hear my concerns about Chad. She thought I was judgmental and trying to control her dating life (maybe I was, but I couldn’t stand this man). Our lease ended, and Chad moved to town to live with my friend. She and I didn’t hang out as much, and never saw each other unless Chad was around. When I called to invite her to my birthday dinner, she insisted that Chad come too, and when I said I didn’t want that, all lines of communication broke down. It was very clear she chose him over our friendship, and I gave up trying to be involved.

My friend and I didn’t speak. For over a year, she and Chad lived a few blocks from me, and I never saw either of them. I would drive by their house once in a while to make sure everything seemed OK, but I could never tell. She worked four jobs, pulling wild hours, while Chad worked part-time (if at all). From what I knew, he spent most of his time fishing on a boat that my friend tried to convince me he bought, not her. She slowly withdrew from all social circles that weren’t directly related to him. She deleted most social media. It made me sick, and I worried all the time about her. I knew he was controlling who she saw, what she did, and who her friends were, not to mention taking advantage of her finances. It made me sick to think he could be abusing her in other ways.

After a few years…she left. He had continually threatened to physically harm her, and she had finally had enough. It was hard, and I still feel a lot of guilt for not having tried harder to make her see what I saw about Chad, or at least to maintain communication, but luckily, over the last year or so, we have been able to rekindle our friendship, which started when we were kids. I’ve been able to be there for her when she needs me. I’m just so happy it didn’t last for longer, as they were continually talking of getting married.

I fucking hate that guy.”

—lemonscott