Get a free website for your business and get online in minutes*

22 Fortune Cookies That Had The Most Unexpected And Funny Fortunes Inside

By Ajani Bazile-Dutes

July 23, 2025

22 Fortune Cookies That Had The Most Unexpected And Funny Fortunes Inside

22 Fortune Cookies With Shocking Fortunes

Like this:

Discover more from InstiWitty Media Studios

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

bestofinternet-reddit Cookies evergreen Fortune Fortunes funny Unexpected

We’ll Reveal Which Vegetable You Are Based On Random Things

What’s The Best Classic Book?

All Community

I Can Guess Your Name Based On Your Food Choices

By dazzlingsunflower3614

July 29, 2025

All TVAndMovies

I've Collected 12 Animals In Film, You Just Have To Tell Me The Movie They're From

By Benjamin Dzialdowski

July 29, 2025

All BuzzFeed

Literally Just 15 Of The Wildest, Most Shocking, And Straight-Up Disturbing Stories We've Ever Published

By Mike Spohr

July 29, 2025

All Community

Enjoy An A-Z Buffet And We'll Guess Your First Initial

By hz

July 29, 2025

Leave a ReplyCancel reply

{"imports":{"@wordpress\/interactivity":"https:\/\/www.instiwitty.com\/wp-includes\/js\/dist\/script-modules\/interactivity\/index.min.js?ver=55aebb6e0a16726baffb"}} {"config":{"jetpack/form":{"error_types":{"is_required":"This field is required.","invalid_form_empty":"The form you are trying to submit is empty.","invalid_form":"Please fill out the form correctly."}}}} /* <![CDATA[ */ (()=>{async function handleCredentialResponse(response){try{const res=await fetch('https://www.instiwitty.com/wp-login.php?action=googlesitekit_auth',{method:'POST',headers:{'Content-Type':'application/x-www-form-urlencoded'},body:new URLSearchParams(response)});if(res.ok && res.redirected){location.assign(res.url);}}catch(error){console.error(error);}}google.accounts.id.initialize({client_id:'963315302644-tgpfcmgsfkp9hh8ja6qt66hn4gbker0g.apps.googleusercontent.com',callback:handleCredentialResponse,library_name:'Site-Kit'});document.querySelectorAll('.googlesitekit-sign-in-with-google__frontend-output-button').forEach((siwgButtonDiv)=>{google.accounts.id.renderButton(siwgButtonDiv,{"theme":"outline","text":"signin_with","shape":"rectangular"});});})(); /* ]]> */ var sbiajaxurl = "https://www.instiwitty.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php"; window.WPCOM_sharing_counts = {"https:\/\/www.instiwitty.com\/22-fortune-cookies-that-had-the-most-unexpected-and-funny-fortunes-inside\/":35318}; .is-style-compact .is-not-subscriber .wp-block-button__link,.is-style-compact .is-not-subscriber .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__button{border-end-start-radius:0!important;border-start-start-radius:0!important;margin-inline-start:0!important}.is-style-compact .is-not-subscriber .components-text-control__input,.is-style-compact .is-not-subscriber p#subscribe-email input[type=email]{border-end-end-radius:0!important;border-start-end-radius:0!important}.is-style-compact:not(.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__use-newline) .components-text-control__input{border-inline-end-width:0!important}.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form-container{display:flex;flex-direction:column}.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline:not(.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__use-newline) .is-not-subscriber .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form-elements{align-items:flex-start;display:flex}.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline:not(.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__use-newline) p#subscribe-submit{display:flex;justify-content:center}.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__button,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__textfield .components-text-control__input,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form button,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form input[type=email],.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline form .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__button,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline form .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__textfield .components-text-control__input,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline form button,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline form input[type=email]{box-sizing:border-box;cursor:pointer;line-height:1.3;min-width:auto!important;white-space:nowrap!important}.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form input[type=email]::placeholder,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form input[type=email]:disabled,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline form input[type=email]::placeholder,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline form input[type=email]:disabled{color:currentColor;opacity:.5}.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__button,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form button,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline form .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__button,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline form button{border-color:#0000;border-style:solid}.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__textfield,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form p#subscribe-email,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline form .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__textfield,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline form p#subscribe-email{background:#0000;flex-grow:1}.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__textfield .components-base-control__field,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__textfield .components-text-control__input,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__textfield input[type=email],.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form p#subscribe-email .components-base-control__field,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form p#subscribe-email .components-text-control__input,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form p#subscribe-email input[type=email],.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline form .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__textfield .components-base-control__field,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline form .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__textfield .components-text-control__input,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline form .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__textfield input[type=email],.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline form p#subscribe-email .components-base-control__field,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline form p#subscribe-email .components-text-control__input,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline form p#subscribe-email input[type=email]{height:auto;margin:0;width:100%}.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form p#subscribe-email,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form p#subscribe-submit,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline form p#subscribe-email,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline form p#subscribe-submit{line-height:0;margin:0;padding:0}.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__show-subs .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__subscount{font-size:16px;margin:8px 0;text-align:end}.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__use-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__form-elements{display:block}.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__use-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__button,.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__use-newline button{display:inline-block;max-width:100%}.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__supports-newline.wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__use-newline .wp-block-jetpack-subscriptions__subscount{text-align:start}#subscribe-submit.is-link{text-align:center;width:auto!important}#subscribe-submit.is-link a{margin-left:0!important;margin-top:0!important;width:auto!important}@keyframes jetpack-memberships_button__spinner-animation{to{transform:rotate(1turn)}}.jetpack-memberships-spinner{display:none;height:1em;margin:0 0 0 5px;width:1em}.jetpack-memberships-spinner svg{height:100%;margin-bottom:-2px;width:100%}.jetpack-memberships-spinner-rotating{animation:jetpack-memberships_button__spinner-animation .75s linear infinite;transform-origin:center}.is-loading .jetpack-memberships-spinner{display:inline-block}body.jetpack-memberships-modal-open{overflow:hidden}dialog.jetpack-memberships-modal{opacity:1}dialog.jetpack-memberships-modal,dialog.jetpack-memberships-modal iframe{background:#0000;border:0;bottom:0;box-shadow:none;height:100%;left:0;margin:0;padding:0;position:fixed;right:0;top:0;width:100%}dialog.jetpack-memberships-modal::backdrop{background-color:#000;opacity:.7;transition:opacity .2s ease-out}dialog.jetpack-memberships-modal.is-loading,dialog.jetpack-memberships-modal.is-loading::backdrop{opacity:0} .wp-container-core-group-is-layout-bcfe9290 > :where(:not(.alignleft):not(.alignright):not(.alignfull)){max-width:480px;margin-left:auto !important;margin-right:auto !important;}.wp-container-core-group-is-layout-bcfe9290 > .alignwide{max-width:480px;}.wp-container-core-group-is-layout-bcfe9290 .alignfull{max-width:none;} /* <![CDATA[ */ wp.i18n.setLocaleData( { "text direction\u0004ltr": [ "ltr" ] } ); /* ]]> */ /* <![CDATA[ */ var wpcf7 = { "api": { "root": "https:\/\/www.instiwitty.com\/wp-json\/", "namespace": "contact-form-7\/v1" }, "cached": 1 }; /* ]]> */ /* <![CDATA[ */ var thickboxL10n = {"next":"Next >","prev":"< Prev","image":"Image","of":"of","close":"Close","noiframes":"This feature requires inline frames. You have iframes disabled or your browser does not support them.","loadingAnimation":"https:\/\/www.instiwitty.com\/wp-includes\/js\/thickbox\/loadingAnimation.gif"}; /* ]]> */ /* <![CDATA[ */ (function($){ $(document).ready(function() { "use strict"; var owl = $(".sidebar .widget.widget_saxon_posts_slider .widget-post-slider-wrapper.widget-post-slider-wrapper-1930201"); owl.owlCarousel({ loop: true, items:1, autoplay:false, autowidth: false, autoplayTimeout:4000, autoplaySpeed: 1000, navSpeed: 1000, dots: false, responsive: { 1199:{ items:1 }, 979:{ items:1 }, 768:{ items:1 }, 479:{ items:1 }, 0:{ items:1 } } }); });})(jQuery); /* ]]> */ /* <![CDATA[ */ var Jetpack_Subscriptions = {"modalLoadTime":"60000","modalScrollThreshold":"50","modalInterval":"86400000"}; /* ]]> */ /* <![CDATA[ */ var WPGroHo = {"my_hash":""}; /* ]]> */ /* <![CDATA[ */ _stq = window._stq || []; _stq.push([ "view", JSON.parse("{\"v\":\"ext\",\"blog\":\"122789348\",\"post\":\"35318\",\"tz\":\"5.5\",\"srv\":\"www.instiwitty.com\",\"j\":\"1:14.8\"}") ]); _stq.push([ "clickTrackerInit", "122789348", "35318" ]); /* ]]> */ /* <![CDATA[ */ var Jetpack_Block_Assets_Base_Url="https://www.instiwitty.com/wp-content/plugins/jetpack/_inc/blocks/"; /* ]]> */ /* <![CDATA[ */ var sbyOptions = {"isAdmin":"","adminAjaxUrl":"https:\/\/www.instiwitty.com\/wp-admin\/admin-ajax.php","placeholder":"https:\/\/www.instiwitty.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/feeds-for-youtube\/img\/placeholder.png","placeholderNarrow":"https:\/\/www.instiwitty.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/feeds-for-youtube\/img\/placeholder-narrow.png","lightboxPlaceholder":"https:\/\/www.instiwitty.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/feeds-for-youtube\/img\/lightbox-placeholder.png","lightboxPlaceholderNarrow":"https:\/\/www.instiwitty.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/feeds-for-youtube\/img\/lightbox-placeholder-narrow.png","autoplay":"1","semiEagerload":"","eagerload":"","nonce":"3233026ade","isPro":"","isCustomizer":""}; /* ]]> */ /* <![CDATA[ */ var sb_instagram_js_options = {"font_method":"svg","resized_url":"https:\/\/www.instiwitty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sb-instagram-feed-images\/","placeholder":"https:\/\/www.instiwitty.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/instagram-feed\/img\/placeholder.png","ajax_url":"https:\/\/www.instiwitty.com\/wp-admin\/admin-ajax.php"}; /* ]]> */ /* <![CDATA[ */ var sharing_js_options = {"lang":"en","counts":"1","is_stats_active":"1"}; /* ]]> */ /* <![CDATA[ */ var windowOpen; ( function () { function matches( el, sel ) { return !! ( el.matches && el.matches( sel ) || el.msMatchesSelector && el.msMatchesSelector( sel ) ); } document.body.addEventListener( "click", function ( event ) { if ( ! event.target ) { return; } var el; if ( matches( event.target, "a.share-facebook" ) ) { el = event.target; } else if ( event.target.parentNode && matches( event.target.parentNode, "a.share-facebook" ) ) { el = event.target.parentNode; } if ( el ) { event.preventDefault(); // If there"s another sharing window open, close it. if ( typeof windowOpen !== "undefined" ) { windowOpen.close(); } windowOpen = window.open( el.getAttribute( "href" ), "wpcomfacebook", "menubar=1,resizable=1,width=600,height=400" ); return false; } } ); } )(); var windowOpen; ( function () { function matches( el, sel ) { return !! ( el.matches && el.matches( sel ) || el.msMatchesSelector && el.msMatchesSelector( sel ) ); } document.body.addEventListener( "click", function ( event ) { if ( ! event.target ) { return; } var el; if ( matches( event.target, "a.share-x" ) ) { el = event.target; } else if ( event.target.parentNode && matches( event.target.parentNode, "a.share-x" ) ) { el = event.target.parentNode; } if ( el ) { event.preventDefault(); // If there"s another sharing window open, close it. if ( typeof windowOpen !== "undefined" ) { windowOpen.close(); } windowOpen = window.open( el.getAttribute( "href" ), "wpcomx", "menubar=1,resizable=1,width=600,height=350" ); return false; } } ); } )(); /* ]]> */ (function($){ $(document).ready(function($) { $('.content-block ').on('click', '.saxon-post .post-like-button', function(e){ e.preventDefault(); e.stopPropagation(); var postlikes = $(this).next('.post-like-counter').text(); var postid = $(this).data('id'); if(getCookie("saxon-likes-for-post-"+postid) == 1) { // Already liked } else { setCookie("saxon-likes-for-post-"+postid, '1', 365); $(this).children('i').attr('class', 'fa fa-heart'); $(this).next('.post-like-counter').text(parseInt(postlikes) + 1); var data = { action: 'saxon_likes', postid: postid, }; var ajaxurl = "https://www.instiwitty.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php"; $.post( ajaxurl, data, function(response) { var wpdata = response; }); } }); }); })(jQuery);