
14.
“One green flag is when both partners can pick up on the context of each other’s complaints and respond to the other party through that contextual understanding.”
“Example: Wife complains about her husband not taking out the garbage on time that morning. The husband’s response is not about the specific incident of taking out the garbage but about the wife’s general views or values surrounding timelines and how their visions of this might differ. It then allows a deeper conversation about their underlying values, and where there may be some common ground.
If the husband gets defensive and says, ‘I was busy that day, I had to get to work, ‘ or ‘Well, you don’t empty the dishwasher on time either,’ there are more serious issues at play.”
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