We’ve all received text messages that are so outrageous, shocking, perplexing, or disgusting that they’re worthy of sending a screenshot to the group chat. The bad part? Getting hit with such a shock factor via SMS leaves you needing to craft a response, accept the consequences of actively ignoring the message, and/or confront the buried emotions it stirred up for you. That’s why I scoured the internet for the most hilarious text screenshots — messages I’m glad I read for the entertainment value, but even more glad I don’t need to respond to.
2.
And this jump-scare text, which would inevitably launch an investigation into which of your two friends betrayed your secret crush:
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This text from someone who simply refuses to engage in small talk:
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This Xbox message that gets worse and more sinister the more you read:
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And this text from a typical f-boy, which suddenly makes life as a nun in a convent sound pretty nice:
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This pseudo-supportive text that somehow makes you feel more alone:
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This text from someone who learned the hard way that salad dressing is, in fact, unisex:
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And this text from a dad who chose a unique moment to try out onomatopoeia, that literary device we learned in elementary school where words imitate sounds:
9.
This crude text that feels too strangely deliberate to be an innocent typo:
10.
This text from a Gen Alpha kid that is infuriatingly incomprehensible to anyone born after 2010:
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And this text from a husband who clearly cosplays as single on the weekends:
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This text from a new iPhone owner that reads like a baby taking its first steps, but it’s just typing:
13.
This text from someone who doesn’t know what day it is and may or may not be at archery right now:
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And this text from a dad who took laundry instructions too literally:
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This birthday text that comes with a side of unsolicited religious intervention:
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And last but not least, this text from a D1 oversharer:
That’s all I got for now, folks. If reading this list gave you the sudden urge to chuck your phone off an overpass and/or book a silent retreat — same. Consider this your friendly reminder to protect your peace and stay on DND a little longer today.
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