“After the beginning of new-relationship energy in a relationship (aka puppy love), the spontaneity of sex naturally goes down. This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you or the relationship. It’s just that the high cocktail of hormones that made everything easy and exciting have lowered back down to normal. As a woman, this might mean that your more dominant type of desire, responsive desire, emerges. So instead of relying on thoughts about sex to just pop into your mind, you need to transition your desire and invite it in.”
“A good way to do this is to have what I call intentional intimacy time: physical intimacy on the calendar, so you can prepare your mind. Like going to the gym, you need to prepare by setting your clothes out, getting your protein mix together, not eating three slices of pizza beforehand, etc. Your desire needs the same preparation. Your desire isn’t like a bag of popcorn that you can pop into the microwave.”
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