26.
“I’ve got a list: I understand my mother more. We are the same person, just 30 years apart and in different situations — like a weird, linear multiverse. I can now understand that she had no idea what she was doing, like I don’t know what I’m doing. I understand how much of my ‘free will’ was actually determined by generational trauma and hormones. Having the estrogen drain out of my body has been wild. I am a different person without estrogen than I was with it. I understand that corporations are a psychopathy race — the people at the top are largely fucking nuts, and the circle jerk of people under them is no place for me. I have a sense of ‘the clock is ticking.’ I have less time, so I’ve had to make some choices about priorities. Life itself takes a lot of time, and now I’m not stressed about it.”
“If I spend the whole day taking care of my house (a priority), tending to my pets (a priority), taking care of my mind and body (a priority), and taking care of my finances (a priority), that’s just a good day. That’s a perfect day.
I don’t give a single, flying fuck about fuckability and the male gaze. ‘Would I make your pee pee get harder faster if I smiled at you? Yeah, no, I really don’t care.
I don’t try to fix everything and everybody now. I need people to take responsibility for themselves and manage their own shit. I still would like to fix everything and everyone, but now I understand…that’s just not how it works.
My bullshit radar is precise.
I know most people — especially family — just want money and labor. My boundary game is strong AF.”
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