Women Are Sharing The Moments They Realized Their Own Internalized Misogyny, And It’s Painfully Relatable

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“Growing up, I was ‘not like other girls.’ It took until university to realize and start addressing that damage. I grew up in a mid-sized country town and went to small schools, where I was one of the smartest students and OK at sports. I was never into makeup and clothes. This was in the mid-’00s, when girls were explicitly taught to hate each other to get male approval. I thought this made me special and interesting, and I was arrogant about it, too. To try to be ‘not like other girls’ — and as a product of the times — I was also racist and anti-gay. When I went to university, there were girls who were not only smarter and more athletic than I was, but also nicer, better dressed, with cooler jobs, and more interesting hobbies. I met queer people, people of color, and people from different class backgrounds. My world expanded in a way I didn’t even know was possible. It was very humbling to realize that I was not special.”

“After a few years of working on this, I realized that all girls are so different and wonderful in their own ways. Not to mention, none of that needs to revolve around getting male approval or trying to be ‘one of the boys.’ Now, I’m happy to say that I’m liberated from thinking I’m special in any way and from the crushing need for male approval. I’m also proud to say that I’m like every other girl.

I’m like every other girl, and they have shaped me in ways I’m so grateful for. I love that all the women I cherish are so different and such beautiful souls in their own ways. I love connecting with girls in clubs, on the street, on the train, online, or at work about shared experiences and knowledge. Liberating yourself from the mind games of the patriarchy is great, and I encourage everyone to give it a try.

Also, due to the climate we are in, I want to explicitly state that I include trans women and other femmes in this. Queer people have given so much to the battle against misogyny, and we are blessed to have them.”

—Anonymous, 32, New York